Palm talk and depression

[Biliboss]

Diving back into reef tanks, just like when you were younger, sounds like a fantastic way to reignite your passions and bring joy back into your life.

[Moose]

Mangoes 🥭 make me happy 😊 

[DoomsDave]

On 7/26/2023 at 5:25 AM, peachy said:

 When I found out my husband had taken off with my new car, left 7 employees unpaid and given me a 7 figure sexually acquired debt,  lost my huge old house that I had spent 6 years restoring, left my 1 acre of garden that I created out of rock hard clay and realised I would be stuck in Queensland, a place I still detest, possibly forever,  I went into a black depression that lasted 3 years. I found a book on palms, a plant I always loved and thought well as I am stuck in a hot climate I can grow some palms. They saved my life of this I am certain.  I still sink into dark periods now and then but I am forced to get of my arse to feed the dogs and cats, tend to my birds and water my million and one pot plants as well creating a new garden from scratch since I moved house.  Just keep busy looking after the things you love.

Peachy

You go darl!

[DoomsDave]

On 7/7/2021 at 5:18 PM, ExperimentalGrower said:

Thanks for having the courage to say that. This past year was a rollercoaster of elation through my palms and landscape/garden work at my new house and dives into depression where everything seemed pointless. This forum was very helpful to keep me positive and engaged with life. Stay strong.

Hope you’re okay now!

[DoomsDave]

On 7/9/2021 at 3:29 PM, Rickybobby said:

Old post but thanks everyone. I’m a little heavier but doing well. Palms doing well new baby on the way this october. Reef tank doing well YouTube channel is modest but a good learning experience for everyone. Thank you again 

How about some baby pictures? And palm garden pictures? For us old people…..

[Harry’s Palms]

I have a few hobbies that keep me from the doldrums. I go into my garden and just gaze up at the palms or pull weeds , sometimes just to meditate. Most Sundays finds me pedaling my classic vintage road bikes. As the late Jimmy Buffet said , “ Mental Floss”. Life is good ….tricky….but good! Harry

[donalt]

thank you for sharing your story. this forum is a place free from all the other stresses of life. we all share a love of palms and nature and its natural beauty and the peace it gives us. 

[PalmatierMeg]

My 0.61 ac Palm Paradise is still recovering from Hurricane Ian (2022), record heat and drought in 2023 and a chilly, dreary, rainy, cloudy winter (2024 and onward). So, the gardens look shabby at the moment. I don't have much time/energy to deal with them as I am heading into 6 months of 24/7 caretaker duties for my husband who is responding quite poorly to CAR T for Mantle Cell Lymphoma - thank you, Agent Orange - he had in Tampa much of last fall as well as a 4 week+ sinus infection that leaves him unable to cross our modest house without stopping to lean on a counter in case he passes out. His doctors wax euphoric about cancer but are befuddled about treating sinus problems stemming from the common cold.

I got palm seeds/seedlings I would love to send out but my husband is too ill to help me mail them. I got stuff to plant & weeds to pull but, you know ..... So, have I been depressed? Double dang right! Seeing as how anxiety and depression gallop through my genome (thanks, Mom and Dad). I used to think Pollyanna - look her up - was a moron but now I envy her - sometimes a little less brain power and a pair of rose-colored glasses can be positives.

But I look forward to times when I can go outside to work on my gardens for an hour or so. Keeping the palms healthy is good for the psyche.

Oh, and our refrigerator died 3 weeks ago but we hope to have a replacement delivered next week. Appliances take weeks/months to get because of the building boom. At least we get out of the house once a day to buy bags of ice for the coolers that hold what little refrigerated food is left.  Just Another Day in Paradise.

[ck_in_fla]

17 minutes ago, PalmatierMeg said:

My 0.61 ac Palm Paradise is still recovering from Hurricane Ian (2022), record heat and drought in 2023 and a chilly, dreary, rainy, cloudy winter (2024 and onward). So, the gardens look shabby at the moment. I don't have much time/energy to deal with them as I am heading into 6 months of 24/7 caretaker duties for my husband who is responding quite poorly to CAR T for Mantle Cell Lymphoma - thank you, Agent Orange - he had in Tampa much of last fall as well as a 4 week+ sinus infection that leaves him unable to cross our modest house without stopping to lean on a counter in case he passes out. His doctors wax euphoric about cancer but are befuddled about treating sinus problems stemming from the common cold.

I got palm seeds/seedlings I would love to send out but my husband is too ill to help me mail them. I got stuff to plant & weeds to pull but, you know ..... So, have I been depressed? Double dang right! Seeing as how anxiety and depression gallop through my genome (thanks, Mom and Dad). I used to think Pollyanna - look her up - was a moron but now I envy her - sometimes a little less brain power and a pair of rose-colored glasses can be positives.

But I look forward to times when I can go outside to work on my gardens for an hour or so. Keeping the palms healthy is good for the psyche.

Oh, and our refrigerator died 3 weeks ago but we hope to have a replacement delivered next week. Appliances take weeks/months to get because of the building boom. At least we get out of the house once a day to buy bags of ice for the coolers that hold what little refrigerated food is left.  Just Another Day in Paradise.

Hang in there.  You have always been so uplifting to others here.  What you are dealing with is not for the faint of heart.  You will get through this just like you have gotten through all the other things that were thrown at you.

I have always appreciated the positive message in all of your responses.  And, thank you for that.

All you can do is take care of your responsibilities and use whatever time may (or not) be left to indulge yourself in your hobbies.

You will make it through this regardless of the outcome.  Always remember that the outcome is completely out of your control.  It's a sad task to have to perform but you will do it with the grace and positive attitude you have always shown.

All the best...

[Leelanau Palms]

5 hours ago, PalmatierMeg said:

My 0.61 ac Palm Paradise is still recovering from Hurricane Ian (2022), record heat and drought in 2023 and a chilly, dreary, rainy, cloudy winter (2024 and onward). So, the gardens look shabby at the moment. I don't have much time/energy to deal with them as I am heading into 6 months of 24/7 caretaker duties for my husband who is responding quite poorly to CAR T for Mantle Cell Lymphoma - thank you, Agent Orange - he had in Tampa much of last fall as well as a 4 week+ sinus infection that leaves him unable to cross our modest house without stopping to lean on a counter in case he passes out. His doctors wax euphoric about cancer but are befuddled about treating sinus problems stemming from the common cold.

I got palm seeds/seedlings I would love to send out but my husband is too ill to help me mail them. I got stuff to plant & weeds to pull but, you know ..... So, have I been depressed? Double dang right! Seeing as how anxiety and depression gallop through my genome (thanks, Mom and Dad). I used to think Pollyanna - look her up - was a moron but now I envy her - sometimes a little less brain power and a pair of rose-colored glasses can be positives.

But I look forward to times when I can go outside to work on my gardens for an hour or so. Keeping the palms healthy is good for the psyche.

Oh, and our refrigerator died 3 weeks ago but we hope to have a replacement delivered next week. Appliances take weeks/months to get because of the building boom. At least we get out of the house once a day to buy bags of ice for the coolers that hold what little refrigerated food is left.  Just Another Day in Paradise.

Respect for you. Thanks for sharing and for your presence here. Wishing you well. 

[DoomsDave]

7 hours ago, PalmatierMeg said:

My 0.61 ac Palm Paradise is still recovering from Hurricane Ian (2022), record heat and drought in 2023 and a chilly, dreary, rainy, cloudy winter (2024 and onward). So, the gardens look shabby at the moment. I don't have much time/energy to deal with them as I am heading into 6 months of 24/7 caretaker duties for my husband who is responding quite poorly to CAR T for Mantle Cell Lymphoma - thank you, Agent Orange - he had in Tampa much of last fall as well as a 4 week+ sinus infection that leaves him unable to cross our modest house without stopping to lean on a counter in case he passes out. His doctors wax euphoric about cancer but are befuddled about treating sinus problems stemming from the common cold.

I got palm seeds/seedlings I would love to send out but my husband is too ill to help me mail them. I got stuff to plant & weeds to pull but, you know ..... So, have I been depressed? Double dang right! Seeing as how anxiety and depression gallop through my genome (thanks, Mom and Dad). I used to think Pollyanna - look her up - was a moron but now I envy her - sometimes a little less brain power and a pair of rose-colored glasses can be positives.

But I look forward to times when I can go outside to work on my gardens for an hour or so. Keeping the palms healthy is good for the psyche.

Oh, and our refrigerator died 3 weeks ago but we hope to have a replacement delivered next week. Appliances take weeks/months to get because of the building boom. At least we get out of the house once a day to buy bags of ice for the coolers that hold what little refrigerated food is left.  Just Another Day in Paradise.

Ouch, so sad to hear about your husband. Bless your heart for taking care of him. Cancer and its treatments both do terrible things to the patient's body, as I've seen for myself in the sufferings of others, including my dad.

 Praying for you both. 😩

Your palms will manage; I know you'll make the most of any time you have with them.

 

[Harry’s Palms]

This is another case of tenacity and will . I have not been here that long and until recently not contributed much. Meg , you are a champion and I wish you the best . Your posts are great and I have been better off by reading them. The commonality is that we all seem to find peace in our gardens , watching after our palms . Connecting through this forum , some of us thousands of mile apart , and sharing a slice of life here. Harry 

[peachy]

On 3/9/2024 at 2:42 AM, PalmatierMeg said:

My 0.61 ac Palm Paradise is still recovering from Hurricane Ian (2022), record heat and drought in 2023 and a chilly, dreary, rainy, cloudy winter (2024 and onward). So, the gardens look shabby at the moment. I don't have much time/energy to deal with them as I am heading into 6 months of 24/7 caretaker duties for my husband who is responding quite poorly to CAR T for Mantle Cell Lymphoma - thank you, Agent Orange - he had in Tampa much of last fall as well as a 4 week+ sinus infection that leaves him unable to cross our modest house without stopping to lean on a counter in case he passes out. His doctors wax euphoric about cancer but are befuddled about treating sinus problems stemming from the common cold.

I got palm seeds/seedlings I would love to send out but my husband is too ill to help me mail them. I got stuff to plant & weeds to pull but, you know ..... So, have I been depressed? Double dang right! Seeing as how anxiety and depression gallop through my genome (thanks, Mom and Dad). I used to think Pollyanna - look her up - was a moron but now I envy her - sometimes a little less brain power and a pair of rose-colored glasses can be positives.

But I look forward to times when I can go outside to work on my gardens for an hour or so. Keeping the palms healthy is good for the psyche.

Oh, and our refrigerator died 3 weeks ago but we hope to have a replacement delivered next week. Appliances take weeks/months to get because of the building boom. At least we get out of the house once a day to buy bags of ice for the coolers that hold what little refrigerated food is left.  Just Another Day in Paradise.

I use Pollyanna as a pejorative !  Even as a kid I used to think what a silly bitch she was. My part of the world is a text book example of global warming and every kind of freak weather event (apart from Hurricanes)  seem to single us  out as somewhere to do their worst. I've spent many decades drifting into and out of really dark depressions.  When I read about your husband, I was thinking how lucky he is to have you to share the journey and look after him.  I had to go through 2 surgeries and 2 courses of chemo all on my own.  I had no help and even worse, nobody who even gave a damn. I wanted to give up so many times but my fauna and flora needed to be cared for no matter what state I happened to be in.  Major disasters now just leave me numb,  it's the little things that send me over the edge.  I fully empathise with you about not having a fridge. Houses here don't come with one, you supply your own so there has never been a shortage of them. When mine died I went hunting and nearly fainted at the prices asked. Way beyond my limited income and of course it was summer when it happened.  I looked at secondhand fridges, then found a facebook page where people give away stuff they don't want. I managed to drag home a tatty looking thing that was in working order, gave it a clean out and 4 years later it's still running well. Albeit with some interesting sound effects, but I still think of it as one of my treasures.  Now some of my kids need dental work and the first late model, pretty car I have had in 30 years has to be sold to pay for it. Once that would have pushed me to the edge but I am getting a reliable but bloody ugly SUV for a cheap price. The positive side is that I need not panic about scratching it, leaving it in a car park or carrying messy plants and smelly dogs in it, unlike the nice one where I am in a constant terror of marking it somehow.  I still begin to panic when weeds start appearing and I am not up to pulling them out,  or if there's little piddle on the floor or if one of the parrots drops the F bomb when people are here.  The weeds will be removed when I have a good day, a rag and disinfectant fixes the piddle and I can't help what the birdies hear on TV.  You're still hanging in there Meg and I admire how you stick with it and do all that needs to be done. Kudos to you.

Peachy

[ChicagoPalma]

I'm surprised how many people have had severe depression or some type of depression or anxiety and somehow it led most people to growing palm trees, which in my small mental capacity of a 13 year old, is imponderable and incredulous. So I wish that everyone is doing better, and hope you all continue growing palm trees or tropical plants wherever you are right now, and remind ourselves once in a while what Darold said "The girl didn't last, but the palms did", and keep growing!

[happypalms]

On 3/11/2024 at 12:27 PM, peachy said:

I use Pollyanna as a pejorative !  Even as a kid I used to think what a silly bitch she was. My part of the world is a text book example of global warming and every kind of freak weather event (apart from Hurricanes)  seem to single us  out as somewhere to do their worst. I've spent many decades drifting into and out of really dark depressions.  When I read about your husband, I was thinking how lucky he is to have you to share the journey and look after him.  I had to go through 2 surgeries and 2 courses of chemo all on my own.  I had no help and even worse, nobody who even gave a damn. I wanted to give up so many times but my fauna and flora needed to be cared for no matter what state I happened to be in.  Major disasters now just leave me numb,  it's the little things that send me over the edge.  I fully empathise with you about not having a fridge. Houses here don't come with one, you supply your own so there has never been a shortage of them. When mine died I went hunting and nearly fainted at the prices asked. Way beyond my limited income and of course it was summer when it happened.  I looked at secondhand fridges, then found a facebook page where people give away stuff they don't want. I managed to drag home a tatty looking thing that was in working order, gave it a clean out and 4 years later it's still running well. Albeit with some interesting sound effects, but I still think of it as one of my treasures.  Now some of my kids need dental work and the first late model, pretty car I have had in 30 years has to be sold to pay for it. Once that would have pushed me to the edge but I am getting a reliable but bloody ugly SUV for a cheap price. The positive side is that I need not panic about scratching it, leaving it in a car park or carrying messy plants and smelly dogs in it, unlike the nice one where I am in a constant terror of marking it somehow.  I still begin to panic when weeds start appearing and I am not up to pulling them out,  or if there's little piddle on the floor or if one of the parrots drops the F bomb when people are here.  The weeds will be removed when I have a good day, a rag and disinfectant fixes the piddle and I can't help what the birdies hear on TV.  You're still hanging in there Meg and I admire how you stick with it and do all that needs to be done. Kudos to you.

Peachy

Hi peachy your next palm will be free from happypalms perhaps a lanonia dasyantha will suit your garden 

peace ☮️ 

Richard 

from happypalms 

[peachy]

47 minutes ago, happypalms said:

Hi peachy your next palm will be free from happypalms perhaps a lanonia dasyantha will suit your garden 

peace ☮️ 

Richard 

from happypalms 

Thank you Richard but you already sold me one

Peachy🤣

[happypalms]

7 minutes ago, peachy said:

Thank you Richard but you already sold me one

Peachy🤣

Think of another one we will see what the oracle’s say 

[PalmatierMeg]

Thank you all for your kind words to my anxiety-driven rant. I should have a posted more touchy-feely response (touchy-feely is highly overrated- Oops, I did it again!) we here in Paradise say every new morning, "Well, I'm still above ground."

Peachy, you are my idol. I appreciate and agree with your posts and am glad you are back with us. Hope all your babies had their dental problems solved. We got an 11-year-old blind orange and white tabby with multiple allergies that cause itching, scratching and multiple sores on his head and neck. Multiple vet visits aren't cheap but we are committed to giving this poor rescued soul as good a life as possible.

Apparently, the Woke new millennium has been working diligently to rehab the much-maligned Pollyanna as a shrink's favorite princess who has a message for all mankind: always look for the good in even the worst tragedy or mishap and smile! That hasn't changed my opinion since I saw the Disney (ack!) movie starring the great Hayley Mills when I was 11, back when disney was DISNEY!!! Pollyanna is still short on brain power and long in incredulity - oh, to be dim and clueless. I'd rather jump off a bridge.

Peachy, in honor of our mutual distaste for princesses - so glad I have only sons - of all nationalities, creeds or gender identities I was going to send you a pair of rose colored glasses from Skechers outlet but the cost of them was too high for both our budgets. So I broke out my trusty Apple phone and took a photo. I think the little pink hearts are just precious - ack!

Love You, Peachy

[ExperimentalGrower]

On 3/7/2024 at 7:10 PM, DoomsDave said:

Hope you’re okay now!

Thanks Dave, that was quite a rough year. Doing better now. 

[Dwarf Fan]

Life can be ugly at times, Palms are always beautiful.

Swaying fronds are therapeutic for the soul. 

This community is filled with so many wonderful, honest and genuine people, I am honored to be in such good company. May God bless and comfort you all.

Meg and Peachy you are both in my prayers, sending love and positive thoughts your way!

[PalmatierMeg]

7 hours ago, Dwarf Fan said:

Life can be ugly at times, Palms are always beautiful.

Swaying fronds are therapeutic for the soul. 

This community is filled with so many wonderful, honest and genuine people, I am honored to be in such good company. May God bless and comfort you all.

Meg and Peachy you are both in my prayers, sending love and positive thoughts your way!

You know why some depressed people find solace in palms? Palms don't tell you to buck up, cheer up and smile. Palms don't say, "Depression? Never had it. I'm always happy." Palms don't go into a comedy routine and spout groady old jokes from the late Bob Hope's - look him up - dusty files from the 1930s-40s. Palms don't tickle you while cackling, "Laugh. Laugh."

Palms don't speak at all, don't judge or criticize. They just grow in the spring sunshine or dappled shade while their leaves rustle in the breeze. Peace and quiet. Better for me than the old wheeze, "Stop and smell the roses."

 

[JLM]

20 minutes ago, PalmatierMeg said:

You know why some depressed people find solace in palms? Palms don't tell you to buck up, cheer up and smile. Palms don't say, "Depression? Never had it. I'm always happy." Palms don't go into a comedy routine and spout groady old jokes from the late Bob Hope's - look him up - dusty files from the 1930s-40s. Palms don't tickle you while cackling, "Laugh. Laugh."

Palms don't speak at all, don't judge or criticize. They just grow in the spring sunshine or dappled shade while their leaves rustle in the breeze. Peace and quiet. Better for me than the old wheeze, "Stop and smell the roses."

 

When you experience a loss, palms will never stand there and tell you that they know how you feel when they really don’t, nor do they care. My grandmother passed away in late 2019, which is when I really got into palms. Coincidence? Maybe. Or, it’s just a really good coping mechanism for me. Queen palms may not be a community favorite but they are the palms that really pulled me through that rough patch going into 2020, and they opened my eyes to other palms in the world, which is why I put so much effort into keeping my queens alive in my occasional 8b winters. I have a lot of palms now, way more than a 17 year old (3 days from 18) should have, especially since this isn’t where I’ll be staying for the rest of my life, but the “addiction” prevails every time and I end up planting more lol
 

I have always held onto the believe that my grandmother is always here with me. Sometimes I believe it’s her that can keep certain things alive when they should have died outright. Could just be me though. She also dabbled into the world of plants but not nearly to the level that I have at this point.

[PalmatierMeg]

26 minutes ago, JLM said:

When you experience a loss, palms will never stand there and tell you that they know how you feel when they really don’t, nor do they care. My grandmother passed away in late 2019, which is when I really got into palms. Coincidence? Maybe. Or, it’s just a really good coping mechanism for me. Queen palms may not be a community favorite but they are the palms that really pulled me through that rough patch going into 2020, and they opened my eyes to other palms in the world, which is why I put so much effort into keeping my queens alive in my occasional 8b winters. I have a lot of palms now, way more than a 17 year old (3 days from 18) should have, especially since this isn’t where I’ll be staying for the rest of my life, but the “addiction” prevails every time and I end up planting more lol
 

I have always held onto the believe that my grandmother is always here with me. Sometimes I believe it’s her that can keep certain things alive when they should have died outright. Could just be me though. She also dabbled into the world of plants but not nearly to the level that I have at this point.

You understand. And I hope you keep your love of palms in the future. Young people like you are the future for endangered palms. My condolences on the loss of your grandmother. Sounds like she is guiding you still. Kudos to you for revering her memory. Keep in mind the things she taught you (and still is teaching) and you can't go wrong. All my best wishes to you for the future. Also, stick with PT because there are so many knowledgeable and wise people here who will advise and support you.

[flplantguy]

Im glad people are posting their stories here and sharing.  I love plants for those same reasons, they grow (or they dont) and you know cuz they tell you, but there is no gaslighting or false hope, just life in its beauty doing what it does and you better fit in (my yard is all oak trees and the pollen is killing me... Im planting three more cuz none are ling lived live oak, my lungs can deal).  I gain real hope from seeing them grow, and seeing others here trying to do what they can. Without plants and being able to grow them i would have given up a long time ago, they really are a lifeline for many people and this place helps us stay connected.

[peachy]

On 3/13/2024 at 7:04 AM, PalmatierMeg said:

Thank you all for your kind words to my anxiety-driven rant. I should have a posted more touchy-feely response (touchy-feely is highly overrated- Oops, I did it again!) we here in Paradise say every new morning, "Well, I'm still above ground."

Peachy, you are my idol. I appreciate and agree with your posts and am glad you are back with us. Hope all your babies had their dental problems solved. We got an 11-year-old blind orange and white tabby with multiple allergies that cause itching, scratching and multiple sores on his head and neck. Multiple vet visits aren't cheap but we are committed to giving this poor rescued soul as good a life as possible.

Apparently, the Woke new millennium has been working diligently to rehab the much-maligned Pollyanna as a shrink's favorite princess who has a message for all mankind: always look for the good in even the worst tragedy or mishap and smile! That hasn't changed my opinion since I saw the Disney (ack!) movie starring the great Hayley Mills when I was 11, back when disney was DISNEY!!! Pollyanna is still short on brain power and long in incredulity - oh, to be dim and clueless. I'd rather jump off a bridge.

Peachy, in honor of our mutual distaste for princesses - so glad I have only sons - of all nationalities, creeds or gender identities I was going to send you a pair of rose colored glasses from Skechers outlet but the cost of them was too high for both our budgets. So I broke out my trusty Apple phone and took a photo. I think the little pink hearts are just precious - ack!

Love You, Peachy

Oh so sweet ! Does the sale price include insulin ?

Petite pretty princess Peachy

[joasdoandeoarece]

Depression's no joke, but it sounds like you found some solace in palms and this forum. It's all about finding those little things that bring some light into the darkness.

[PalmatierMeg]

2 hours ago, joasdoandeoarece said:

Depression's no joke, but it sounds like you found some solace in palms and this forum. It's all about finding those little things that bring some light into the darkness.

Agree wholeheartedly. Welcome to PalmTalk