Waiting For Dave

[Ken Johnson]

I hope the first person in Fl. to see Dave will post here.

It would be fun to follow is journey.

If all goes well I will be hauling in "2 gallons" of claws every few days. Stone Crab claws that is. The stuff of ledgens. Dave will be one of the first guest to taste them.

Anyone remember the day DEA closed down Everglades City? Seems the local crabbers started a small coke import business to the tune of millions of dollars. Sure beat catching the crabs!

[DoomsDave]

(Ken Johnson @ Dec. 12 2007,19:03)

QUOTE

I hope the first person in Fl. to see Dave will post here.

It would be fun to follow is journey.

If all goes well I will be hauling in "2 gallons" of claws every few days. Stone Crab claws that is. The stuff of ledgens. Dave will be one of the first guest to taste them.

Anyone remember the day DEA closed down Everglades City? Seems the local crabbers started a small coke import business to the tune of millions of dollars. Sure beat catching the crabs!

Whoa!

Stone Crabs rock.  (Oh, wow, I punned, sorta!)  They sell here on the west coast live in Chinese markets, for about 10 bucks a point, massive claws and all.  

From what I hear in Florida, you yank off one claw, and dump the crab back in so it can grow another, which you can harvest later.

My first flight got canceled, gonna come in later than expected, but plenty of time to ramble around . . . .

dave

[Jerry@TreeZoo]

Was it Everglades City or was it Chocoloskee (sp?) that everyone got arrested.  Both are tiny towns right next door to eachother.

Jerry

[Ken Johnson]

They closed the road to both towns and "every male over the age of 18 was arrested" acording to legend.

They found millions in cash burried under concret walk ways that were of coarse planted with newly purchased royal palms!

[metalfan]

One of the first things that happened to me when we moved here from Los Angeles was that I almost got arrested because of a stone crab. In Levy County, of all places (Cedar Key).

I had to go to court and everything.

My brother in law was here from Dallas and I took him to CK to go fishing off the airport bridge. Whilst there, a stone crab attached itself to the shrimp on my line. I reeled it in and unfortunately for me decided to keep the crab (I had no idea about any of the game laws related to stone crab and didn't know they were regulated...lucky for me I only caught ONE)

The game warden came around checking coolers for contraband fish and when he saw my stone crab he issued me three $500 tickets.

One was for "stone crab out of season"

One was for "anesthetizing a stone crab" (because I put him in an ice filled cooler and slowed his metabolism down)

One was for "stone crab in whole condition" (because I didn't mutilate him by breaking off one of his claws)

Each ticket also carried a possible year in jail and was a 3rd degree felony

Fortunately for me, the judge was a "fishin' man" and he let me off without anything on my record and all I had to pay was court costs ($35)

But I was in court all day, with an assortment of ne'er do wells ranging from wife beaters to assault and battery to crack cocaine possession and assorted other crimes of true import, and when the Prosecutor read the charges against me, the entire courtroom burst out laughing. Including the Judge. At that point I knew he was going to let me off.

[BS Man about Palms]

(metalfan @ Dec. 14 2007,17:55)

QUOTE

One of the first things that happened to me when we moved here from Los Angeles was that I almost got arrested because of a stone crab. In Levy County, of all places (Cedar Key).

I had to go to court and everything.

My brother in law was here from Dallas and I took him to CK to go fishing off the airport bridge. Whilst there, a stone crab attached itself to the shrimp on my line. I reeled it in and unfortunately for me decided to keep the crab (I had no idea about any of the game laws related to stone crab and didn't know they were regulated...lucky for me I only caught ONE)

The game warden came around checking coolers for contraband fish and when he saw my stone crab he issued me three $500 tickets.

One was for "stone crab out of season"

One was for "anesthetizing a stone crab" (because I put him in an ice filled cooler and slowed his metabolism down)

One was for "stone crab in whole condition" (because I didn't mutilate him by breaking off one of his claws)

Each ticket also carried a possible year in jail and was a 3rd degree felony

Fortunately for me, the judge was a "fishin' man" and he let me off without anything on my record and all I had to pay was court costs ($35)

But I was in court all day, with an assortment of ne'er do wells ranging from wife beaters to assault and battery to crack cocaine possession and assorted other crimes of true import, and when the Prosecutor read the charges against me, the entire courtroom burst out laughing. Including the Judge. At that point I knew he was going to let me off.

Criminal..... goes with the tats

[metalfan]

This kind of stuff was just one of the things that has colored my attitudes about my adopted state over the years. It was like something out of a book that would never really happen in real life.

We were buying a house at the time from a local attorney here. He was the epitome of old school Southern Gentleman. His father was a local doctor who had been in practice here for over 50 years. He is actually one of the nicest guys I have ever met. We were first time house buyers and he acted as the self-appointed lawyer for the entire sale, didn't charge us anything, had everything hand delivered to us, etc. He is an AVID fisherman.

When I told him about my accidental felonious stone crab activities, he had this to say, as well as I can recall after all these years to quote him (this happened in 1992):

" I've been lawyering here for over 25 years, and I know that coming from Los Angeles, California, this whole thing seems blown out of proportion to you. To tell the truth, it does to me too. These new fish and game laws should never have been passed. We never even had fishing licenses here until those damn people from Georgia started crossing over the border and fishing up all our fish here in Florida.

The important thing for you to know is, you don't want to be messing with the law in Levy County. Think of Gainesville and Alachua County as a little island of sanity and culture in the middle of a big ocean of backwoods rednecks. The law in these outlying counties can be iffy. I know because I have to travel and represent clients in these backwoods courts.

The outcome of your court date in these little outlying counties is going to depend on the judge.  Its also going to depend on your color. You're white, so that's good. You're female, that's even better. I know that coming from California, it might seem racist to you, but to some folks here in the Deep South, the Civil War never really ended.

Now I know this judge you are going to be going before. He's a good fishing buddy of mine. He loves to fish, and I happen to know that he doesn't put much stock in the fish and game laws either. I'd represent you if I could, but since you're buying a house from me, that would be a conflict of interest. If you say the right things, he'll go easy on you.

Number one, tell him you've lived here less than 6 months, but if he asks, don't tell him you came here from Los Angeles. That's too "big city" and it might work against you. Tell him you came from Texas. That's still considered the South. Better yet tell him you lived in Rockport. He's done some fishing around there in the past.

Number two, dress conservatively. A nice "house dress" would be good. No jeans and T shirts; wear flat shoes, no heels or sneakers. Just look ordinary, but nice.

Number three, be SURE you impress on him that you LOVE TO FISH. Make sure you say "PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY FISHING LICENSE AWAY." If he thinks you are more concerned about the long term effect on your ability to fish and not the immediate issue of these stone crab charges, he will go easy on you."

I guess I said all the right things, because that's what happened. Of course I cannot be certain my lawyer friend didn't actually "good buddy" it for me with a surreptitious call to his friend the judge, but I don't think he did.

[BS Man about Palms]

Wheres the picture of you in a "house dress"?  

[metalfan]

LOL the best I could do was one of those Andean striped cloth dresses with a scoop neck and a cap-sleeved black tee under it.

When people we first meet ask us, "Where did you come to Gainesville from?" and we say "Los Angeles", their eyes get wide and invariably they say "WOW that must have been some culture shock".

We always reply with "Yes, it was at first, but its finally starting to wear off"

[Walter John]

Nice story Gina, but what's the Dave story at present ? Anybody got the latest ?

[_Keith]

Yes, where is the mysterious Dave.  Shall we rename him "Dave, International Man of Mystery."  Well, I guess since he is still in the states (supposedly) we could name him "Dave, National Man of Mystery."  Come on Dave, pop out of oblivion (isn't that a city in Florida, Oblivion).

[Ken Johnson]

I have spoken with Dave. He IS in Tampa. I expect him to show up here around the new year.

BTW no crabs yet.

[metalfan]

That's because I caught the only one

[Jeff Searle]

(BS, Man about Palms @ Dec. 15 2007,09:52)

QUOTE

Wheres the picture of you in a "house dress"?  

Bill,Bill,Bill,    lol  :laugh:  lol!! It's going to be fun in Costa Rica........but leave your dresses home. :laugh:

Jeff

[waykoolplantz]

(metalfan @ Dec. 14 2007,20:55)

QUOTE

But I was in court all day, with an assortment of ne'er do wells ranging from wife beaters to assault and battery to crack cocaine possession and assorted other crimes of true import, and when the Prosecutor read the charges against me, the entire courtroom burst out laughing. Including the Judge. At that point I knew he was going to let me off.

Gina...grab yer geetar...your tale might give Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" some company in the halls of Musical Justice

[metalfan]

Wouldn't it be kewl if something that bizarro happened to Dave whilst he was here visiting?? Him being a barrister and all....

[BS Man about Palms]

Where is Dave?, I saw some posts, but nothing to indicate his location.

[spockvr6]

(BS, Man about Palms @ Dec. 14 2007,22:50)

QUOTE

Criminal..... goes with the tats

LOL Bill!  Well done one liner  

[metalfan]

Perish the thought that the stone crab incident was my ONLY crime :cool:

But that stuff's better kept private, LOL

[Ken Johnson]

I did catch crabs. In fact enough (10 claws) for me and my mate to have a great lunch, vodka sours and all.

BTW some crabs had no claws from previous trapper...or Gina!

I will go again tomorrow and give a report. I hope I have some for Dave and his hot sauce.

[Ken Johnson]

The day after a big Xmas dinner Dave and I pulled the drsb traps. He has some pictures of the trip but this is the final result!

[bubba]

A bit of nostalgia from the wayback on the OHANI NUI Forum in 2007. This was during Dave’s epic trip to Florida in 2007 and his stay with Ken Johnson at Ken’s incredible palm farm in the Redlands/ Homestead. Hard to believe that it was nearly thirty (30) years ago!

[bubba]

Maybe more like 20!