I have a section of my garden that is in bright shade that gets completely doused during downpours, and Lowe's has a giant one of these in like a 25G pot.  Heard they like alkaline soil cause they grow on limestone.  Can anyone share any info?

There an absolute die hard palm . They grow pretty well much any where they do like bright shade tolerant of dappled light. To much afternoon sun they will burn. And they do like water that’s for sure that’s pretty well much there habitat. They will tolerate your alkaline soil in fact it power in it. Chamaedorea are so easy to grow I have quite a few in my garden. The only problem I have had is when I broadcast fertiliser in the garden in the past killing some with to much fertiliser. I don’t do that anymore now I just mulch mulch and mulch.

Agree with everything @happypalms said above. They are an awesome palm. Super easy and carefree. I think they look their best in shade. I have a row of them in filtered light under a live oak and they love it. I also put one in full blazing sun in the front of my house under the edge of the roof where all the water gets dumped on it, and it's been able to handle the full sun because of that. The soil is terrible there too. I don't fertilize them either and they're always deep green. The one thing they MUST have is water though.

My experience is similar to @RainforestCafe. I have two that get full Houston sun all day and they look great as long as they get water every day. Mine are in clay which does hold water better though, and even in shade you will still need to give them additional water. Definitely a palm that should be more widely planted in Houston and south Texas.

The 3G and above sizes at the big hardware stores are also often a mix of a few seed grown plants, so you have chance of getting both males and females. Mine set a good crop of seed each year, but I keep having to harvest it green because of our winter freezes. Shouldn't be a problem for you.

Sweet thanks everybody I bought a 25G one.