New Members

[John in Andalucia]

To reiterate a point I made a long time ago, new members will always get a warm welcome from me if they participate "in the right spirit". Otherwise go and vent elsewhere! It's too easy to use a forum to confront your anxieties, in perceiving how others are reacting towards you, but one thing I've learned is that if you post when feeling indifferent, it can come across a lot colder for not knowing the other person and not being able to see them face-to-face. That's why frequent posters, regardless of their changing moods, will always come back to affirm their interest in communicating on a global level, about palms and tropical plants - and new members.

[bgl]

This thread has been veering off in the wrong direction for a very long time, with posts about the weather, and now about cats as well as a few that were borderline offensive. Stick to the topic and be polite, or your post WILL be removed! Just now I removed about two dozen posts and edited a few. In some cases the posts I removed were fairly innocent but they were in response to previous posts that were either completely, or partly, off topic. John's post above has been edited, with a cat photo and text removed. I left the text that was relevant.

Bo-Göran

[Rafael]

For everything in life (even the new members) smiling is needed...

[hanapalms]

I truly enjoy the sharing in Palmtalk. I have only recently become active in posting; I have been a member of IPS for a number of years, enjoy the publications. I aspire to one day attend a Biennial gathering; missed the last one that was held here in Hawaii.

I enjoy reading seasoned members' snarky comments to each other, it gives the forum a family feeling. Although, I do realize that it may not go over too well when directed toward a newbie.

I'm a newbie, but I think my tenure on the planet has grown me an extra layer of skin, so sharp barbs tossed in my direction tend to bounce off. I try to be sensitive to others, even when jesting.

The forum has changed somewhat over the years. Last time I participated was in 2007. Then I went offline for a couple years.

This was a good deed Peachy. I hope the lurkers feel welcome to participate. At another time in my life I might have been out there myself.

[Jeff Searle]

William,

I sincerly hope you and others (that are new and maybe don't post much)feel welcome here. We can all learn something from everyone. And it would be a pleasure to meet you at an upcoming biennial someday. Any pictures of your garden? Post away....

Jeff

[oppalm]

interacting on a forum is not that much different than interacting in life. you are going to meet someone that's going to offend you and you are going to meet people that you enjoy. You have to decide "should I stay or should I go". Hopefully you decide to stay and meet a whole bunch of people you enjoy. If you get offended easily, I'll bet you sit home by yourself alot (ouch that hurt).

[John in Andalucia]

interacting on a forum is not that much different than interacting in life. you are going to meet someone that's going to offend you and you are going to meet people that you enjoy. You have to decide "should I stay or should I go". Hopefully you decide to stay and meet a whole bunch of people you enjoy. If you get offended easily, I'll bet you sit home by yourself alot (ouch that hurt).

That's very true Kent, except the downside on a forum, is that people you would rather kept themselves to themselves, can "follow" you around, or worse, start acting the stooge to your every comment. When there's nowhere else you can converse with the people you've gotten to know on-line, what can you do? I would hate that if it happened to me. I wouldn't say I was easily offended, but I'm a very private person in real life. In some respects, a forum allows people to express themselves better than they do vocally. It's certainly an opportunity to do so, because everyone gets their turn to respond and be heard. At least one member here uses an on-line translator to communicate, and I think that's admirable.

[peachy]

Before we go off track again, how older members behave among themselves is up to them. One can always send a PM asking someone to desist unpleasant or annoying behaviours, or contact a moderator in extreme cases. The new members dont know this or are reluctant to do so, not knowing the kind of response they might get. I have seen 2 people just vanish soon after joining when they recieved rude or dismissive responses. One of these people had an amazing collection of palms and would have been a great asset to palmtalk I feel. The other person was just someone with an interest in palms as are we all. In response to John, I have been on the recieving end of someone doing what you said and the moderators pounced quickly and deleted all the remarks. I was totally unaware it had even occurred until somebody else told me. The moderators are doing a great job in trying to make this a dignified and informative site and if we all play our part welcoming newcomers and being helpful to each other instead of one upmanship and being like spiteful cats. It should not be about who you are but what you are...a person who loves palms. Everyone here was a newcomer once before, either through their knowledge of palms, or their, 'skills' in sarcasm made them a well known poster.

Peachy

[_Keith]

Before we go off track again, how older members behave among themselves is up to them. One can always send a PM asking someone to desist unpleasant or annoying behaviours, or contact a moderator in extreme cases. The new members dont know this or are reluctant to do so, not knowing the kind of response they might get. I have seen 2 people just vanish soon after joining when they recieved rude or dismissive responses. One of these people had an amazing collection of palms and would have been a great asset to palmtalk I feel. The other person was just someone with an interest in palms as are we all. In response to John, I have been on the recieving end of someone doing what you said and the moderators pounced quickly and deleted all the remarks. I was totally unaware it had even occurred until somebody else told me. The moderators are doing a great job in trying to make this a dignified and informative site and if we all play our part welcoming newcomers and being helpful to each other instead of one upmanship and being like spiteful cats. It should not be about who you are but what you are...a person who loves palms. Everyone here was a newcomer once before, either through their knowledge of palms, or their, 'skills' in sarcasm made them a well known poster.

Peachy

Peachy, I have a feeling based on the way this thread has gone that you have your answer.

[DCA_Palm_Fan]

That is quite sad that you had to wait so long before you had the confidence to ask a question. This is one of the issues I was hoping this topic might help to address. To quote Tyrone, the only stupid question is the one you should have asked. (or something along those lines.) Of course rookies ask rookie questions...thats why they are rookies. Now to any newcomers reading this, the term 'Lurkers' is not a pejorative, its just palmtalk slang for people who are too shy or too embarrassed to post questions or topics or just like to keep a low profile. The question you ask just might save a palm so lets be a lurker free zone.

Peachy

I think I know the topic that prompted your post, Peachy. And the responses to the newbie's topic involved something to the effect of a "second level snark attack" or some such thing. Frankly, this continuing outbreak of "snarkness" and "snark attacks" has gotten overdone and tiresome. If a person can't give an honest, truthful answer to someone's sincere question, statement, announcement or photos, he/she should keep his/her hands away from the keyboard.

I support you in this topic. I'm here for the palms, not to witness someone's effort to launch a career in standup comedy.

I could not agree with both of you more!

[Mel]

To all,

I recently posted a question called white stuff. I got four replies and each was educational and helpful. It gave me great relief to know that my palms were doing well and it saved me money as I was about to invest in pesticides and additional fertilizer which may have actually hurt my palms.

I noticed a mistake in my posting after the fact. No one attacked it.

Since I have joined Palm Talk I have signed in every day trying to broaden my knowledge base. I enjoy Palm Talk immensely and hope to be able to contribute to others someday.

Mel

[bgl]

Mel,

I'm glad to hear that! And a belated welcome to PalmTalk! I hope you'll find it useful and interesting in the future as well!

Aloha from the Big Island,

Bo-Göran

[paulgila]

To all,

I recently posted a question called white stuff. I got four replies and each was educational and helpful. It gave me great relief to know that my palms were doing well and it saved me money as I was about to invest in pesticides and additional fertilizer which may have actually hurt my palms.

I noticed a mistake in my posting after the fact. No one attacked it.

Since I have joined Palm Talk I have signed in every day trying to broaden my knowledge base. I enjoy Palm Talk immensely and hope to be able to contribute to others someday.

Mel

damn,cant believe i missed that one!

just kidding! welcome etc etc etc.

[MattyB]

Good thoughts by Kathryn

I learned a long time ago that I can’t control the world - although sometimes I still try.

Some people like the snark, some people don't. You have to realize that your opinion is just that, and you can't place your expectations on how others should act.

In my opinion, snarkiness, here on the forum and in face to face life, is like an account at the bank. You have to build your relationship up to a point before you can begin to draw on the equity of snark so that both parties know that it's safe, and being done in a friendly way. Yes, sometimes use snark to emotionally stiff-arm the world. That doesn't mean that we don't want connection, it just means that we're scared.

I have friends that are especially sensitive and by simply observing reactions you can see that they don't appreciate that sort of humor and out of respect I don't "pop off" directly to them. Thus we are still friends. Observing reactions is not possible on a forum, and if someone sits in silient offence, no one will ever know. But snarking on a personal level (not just making a random comment on a photo), towards people you don't know, is never a good idea. And I'm probably guilty of that as well at times.

As far as "Newbies" go: I think new comers should always be given a warm and sincere welcome because they, in fact, are welcome. That's one of the coolest things about PalmTalk and the Palm Society; you get to meet new people and make friends.

As far as "Cliques" go: You have to realize that sometimes your perception of what a "clique" is might be wrong. I have personally witnessed several "Newbies" just poke their head into "Cliques" unawares of anything palmy or the dynamics of the relationships currently going on and they were welcomed "in". That's not really a "clique" then is it? Although some people would call it that.

Just some of my thoughts. Thanks for putting up with me. I feel like Palmtalk has helped me express myself and grow personally. Am I being snarkastic? You'll never know because I'm not using any emoticons and you can't see me face.

[BS Man about Palms]

Pretty deep for someone so shallow.

What is my current balance anyway?

[peachy]

I too am guilty of the occasional snark, however I do try to keep them to people I know well enough to gauge their reaction. Not all people appreciate sarcasm, and as Matt said some do suffer in silence, and dont understand the humour involved, therefore I believe, when in doubt dont. As to cliques, well they seem to be everywhere and palmtalk is not free of them either. Some people just like to mix with others of a similar type and ignore others. Luckily the majority of the members are gregarious and friendly. I am quite sure I could write a comprehensive hit list of people who dont meet my expectations, as could we all. As long as a new member is comfortable enough to post and feel welcome, then we can be comfortable and know we are doing the right thing.

Peachy

[paulgila]

Pretty deep for someone so shallow.

What is my current balance anyway?

its about half of what it was before you posted this.

[MattyB]

Lower than half after the "low balance" fee.

Peachy,

"Gregarious", great word. Very botanical as well.

[Wanderanwills]

I think Palmtalk is a fantastic forum that has real depth of knowledge and many members wanting to help newbies.

I joined in March and have initiated a few new topics that have all been answered very promptly, giving great advice.

I think that all the long term forum members should be given a pat on the back for keeping this place interesting and very informative. With so many dedicated members (including moderators) online there is always something to learn and then some more. I have felt very welcome in this forum and look forward to returning palm experiences and photos for members to share.

Well done, and see you online.

Regards

Stephen

[DoomsDave]

That´s why I do NOT understand some restrictions of the administratives! I never identified any offense, any chat-up line.

Verena

The reason you "never identified any offense" Verena is because any offense is promptly removed, or in PMs that you never see.

Or, offenses vary from one culture to another.

Sorry if I've offended . . . .

[DoomsDave]

Really, this is one of the most marvelously cohesive groups I've even been a part of, on or off the internet. Where can you find Swedes, Englishmen, Americans, Australians, Jordanians, Pakistanis, Indians, Russians, and many many more getting along as well as we do. I haven't seen a "hurt feelings" post in a while, and it's not like I'm never here.

Okay, some of us get a bit snarky, but, our Beloved Mods and their reasonably swift responses to cruelty help avoid the horrors of -- the Stumpheads run amok. Some remember, most don't and just as well.

Yeah, I've posted a few posts I've regretted, and I've had them removed.

In the words of Rodney King, can't we just get along?

And, overwhelmingly, we do.

Really amazing.

Focus on the positive, I say.

[BeaumontTropics]

When I first posted, I had an "unkillable" reclinata, that I killed. Everyobody was more than helpful and friendly in offering advice. They let me know that "visuals" are a must, and now, I truly agree. A photo is worth a thousand words after all. As for posts being offensive or too snarky, I think anything that would be is probably removed by the MOD and his helpful sideckicks long before it ever hits a posted thread. I've never seen anything offensive, at all. (Except my first attempts at planting these things!)

I submit lets not get too sensitive and ruin this fun and interactive forum. Bring on the snark! As for the new members, I don't think any of the "heavy hitters" pick on anybody. They only snark on amongst themselves. I think we should all worry a little less about our feelings and a little more about putting palms in the ground! Someone might try to plant an oak or something for crying out loud. Turn that soil into palmage, people! Total Palm Takeover! That's what I'm talking about!

I cannot speak for everyone, but for myself, if i post something you feel to be worthy of snark, bring it on! I welcome the snark. however, don't think for a minute if you throw some snark out at me, that it won't get thrown right back at ya!

[BeaumontTropics]

Also,

I suggest this thread either be moved or at least "pasted" to discussing palm trees worldwide. i just think this particular thread would benefit more greatly if it got more exposure. I think we all can agree that "discussing palms worldwide" is the most popular avenue on palmtalk. Just throwing that out there, what do you think, PalmMod?

[bgl]

Actually, right here is probably the best place for this thread. It'll stay on top here for a long time. Discussing Palm Trees is a fast moving forum with lots of new threads and posts every single day. This thread would end up on page 4 or 5 in no time flat, and then nobody would pay any attention to it!

[Tyrone]

I think we should all worry a little less about our feelings and a little more about putting palms in the ground!

Based on the comment above, I thought this song appropriate.

Yours faithfully

Tyrone

[BeaumontTropics]

I think we should all worry a little less about our feelings and a little more about putting palms in the ground!

Based on the comment above, I thought this song appropriate.

Yours faithfully

Tyrone

Tyrone,

don't take this the wrong way, or get overly "sensitive" or anything mate, but that song sucks! I think Pink Floyd's "comfortably numb" would have been more apropos. Cheers!

[dalmatiansoap]

Hey all!

I hope this is "the right" interduction thread here so I can say hello to everybody here and to worldwide palm lovers, lol.

My name is Ante, aka Dalmatiansoap, from Croatian costal region.

Love palms, love plants, trying to germinate, trying to grow, trying to learn,....

Hope to have great time here!

[BS Man about Palms]

Welcome Ante

This is not normally an introduction spot, but I'm sure it will do. Enjoy what's here!

[dalmatiansoap]

Welcome Ante

This is not normally an introduction spot, but I'm sure it will do. Enjoy what's here!

Thanks,

where would be "a normally introduction spot" ?

This forum is still too wide for me,

but I ll chatch up...

[bgl]

Hi Ante,

Welcome to PalmTalk! And you can post an introduction in Discussing Palm Trees. Start a new topic (thread) and tell us a little about yourself. You will get much more of a response if you post there.

Aloha from Hawaii!

Bo-Göran

[KPL]

Bo-Göran,

Thanks for your post No. 29. It really states important information. And, yes indeed PalmTalk is very unique. The personal friendship and connections are ineed extremely unique. You forgot to talk about the Personal Messenger opportunity and all the things it can accomplish!

kpl

[peachy]

I am going to stir the pot a little bit again. Has anyone else noticed that posts from people who are fairly new or not constant posters or live out of the usual areas associated with palms, don't seem to get the responses their posts deserve. It takes a bit of nerve to post a topic and putting up photos etc, so when I see someone's effort not being rewarded it disappoints me as it must disappoint them also. When I see a topic has had very few comments posted but received many views, I wonder why people just can't say a couple of words, even nice photo thanks for posting would be surely be appreciated. Surely more people should be encouraged to post topics and photos rather than just the same old crew year in and year out.

Peachy

[palmislandRandy]

I am going to stir the pot a little bit again. Has anyone else noticed that posts from people who are fairly new or not constant posters or live out of the usual areas associated with palms, don't seem to get the responses their posts deserve. It takes a bit of nerve to post a topic and putting up photos etc, so when I see someone's effort not being rewarded it disappoints me as it must disappoint them also. When I see a topic has had very few comments posted but received many views, I wonder why people just can't say a couple of words, even nice photo thanks for posting would be surely be appreciated. Surely more people should be encouraged to post topics and photos rather than just the same old crew year in and year out.

Peachy

Peachy, I may be guilty of not responding to all the posts I read. I "use" Palmtalk as a diversion while I'm supposed to be working or on the phone. I used to think posting a "nice photo or a thanks for posting" post was just filler or the padding my post numbers. I understand the responses, however short, do show interest in the topic and the poster does appreciate it. I will try to be more diligent in giving the posts I read an atta boy (or atta girl).

-Randy

[BS Man about Palms]

I am going to stir the pot a little bit again. Has anyone else noticed that posts from people who are fairly new or not constant posters or live out of the usual areas associated with palms, don't seem to get the responses their posts deserve. It takes a bit of nerve to post a topic and putting up photos etc, so when I see someone's effort not being rewarded it disappoints me as it must disappoint them also. When I see a topic has had very few comments posted but received many views, I wonder why people just can't say a couple of words, even nice photo thanks for posting would be surely be appreciated. Surely more people should be encouraged to post topics and photos rather than just the same old crew year in and year out.

Peachy

Very Good Peachy.... I tried (poorly) to address this back in post #4. I don't own many or any cold hardy palms, so therefore I don't offer advice... also, since I don't own a coconut palm, rarely reply or read those... But Like I said before... if it appears to be a new name with few posts, I try to respond in some manner.

I wish more would too. I suspect some here think I do it to "gain numbers"... haha wouldn't bother me in the least to make it say "a lot" after you pass 1000 posts...

[The Silent Seed]

hear , hear !

I must say that some people might be a little less critical of people doing things differently (That goes for anything, not just growing plants/Palms.)

Everybody had to start somewhere - some people have 3 plants, but enjoy talking about them, some people have 24,000 plants like me, some people have gigantic nurseries with untold numbers. The root of this place should be the spirit of it, doing what we love, and talking about what we enjoy. Every person has something to share, and to learn from, and also to teach.

[Stevetoad]

I am going to stir the pot a little bit again. Has anyone else noticed that posts from people who are fairly new or not constant posters or live out of the usual areas associated with palms, don't seem to get the responses their posts deserve. It takes a bit of nerve to post a topic and putting up photos etc, so when I see someone's effort not being rewarded it disappoints me as it must disappoint them also. When I see a topic has had very few comments posted but received many views, I wonder why people just can't say a couple of words, even nice photo thanks for posting would be surely be appreciated. Surely more people should be encouraged to post topics and photos rather than just the same old crew year in and year out.

Peachy

Very Good Peachy.... I tried (poorly) to address this back in post #4. I don't own many or any cold hardy palms, so therefore I don't offer advice... also, since I don't own a coconut palm, rarely reply or read those... But Like I said before... if it appears to be a new name with few posts, I try to respond in some manner.

I wish more would too. I suspect some here think I do it to "gain numbers"... haha wouldn't bother me in the least to make it say "a lot" after you pass 1000 posts...

i just figured it was like anything else. im a newbie so therefore i get overlooked by the regulars who have been on here for years and i expected that and have no problem with it. i figure if i stay around post some stuff and soak in what i read on here by the experts eventually ill become one of the "locals". to be honest with you i enjoy the snark and sarcastic comments i get. it might just be me but i would like to earn my respect from you guys even though i have never felt unwelcome on this board. i would also add that ive learned more from this board in the few months ive joined than in any book. thanks everyone!!

[KPL]

Thanks Peachy, very well put.

Kpl

[Kim]

Seems like a good time to 'bump' this thread.

[Stevetoad]

i still stand by my statment. i will add that 2 years later i feel like everyone on this forum is now what i would consider a friend to me. i do feel like ive been accepted into the palmtalk family now and i have to say that i have NEVER meet so many generous and kind people before in my life! its nearly impossibe to go for a tour of someones garden without leaving with a plant or 10. if someone needs help moving mulch, getting rocks, feeding palms or trying a new beer someone will always show up to help. its funny how when i meet someone thats on this board for the first time in person it feels like ive known them for years. i love palmtalk and everything that comes along with it. ive never been big on social media like facebook or myspace but with palmtalk im obsessed! Thank you to everyone who is active on this forum! i still say palm people are the best people.

[doranakandawatta]

Steve,

I agree with you about Palmtalk community and I too doesn't belong to Facebook or others but can be PT addict!

BUT:

palm people are the best people. like all passionate people can be: lets see Epiphyllum passionate people...
BUT

Palms are the best creatures in the vegetal kingdom!

BTW: Some PT members in a recent thread remind me my father: He knows everything about everything and tell to others.... but i like my father...

Kim,

Thank you for bumping this thread. it's god to read what others wrote years ago.

Kindest regards

Philippe