-Bob Riffle has passed away

[Diane Kirkland]

I know I've been uncharacteristically quiet -- I needed time to help sort out some of RLR's loose ends and give some support to people he left behind.

In all honesty, I've never lost anyone who was such a huge part of my daily life, and the pain and the depth of the grief caught me completely off guard.  You can only understand this by first-hand experience, and I hope most of you can avoid it.  

I'm regaining my balance; Bob never really understood women and mascara (I have blonde eyelashes and always wear it), so he especially wouldn't understand why I'm so glad it comes in "waterproof" formulas.

As an update, I know how he spent the his last days -- they were normal days with plans for the future, plans to do some remodeling, and talking with friends on the phone.  For some reason, I find this comforting.  

I have some writing assignments I've accepted re. Riffle which I need to attend to before I continue here, but I'll be back.   And I need to proofread A Pocket Guide to Palms for typos...

D.

[bgl]

Diane,

Thanks for the update!

Bo-Göran

[BS Man about Palms]

Diane- Glad to hear you are coping. I've missed your inputs.

I'm sure you know you can PM anyone of us anytime, or email, or whatever.

Read you soon...I hope,

Bill

[Zac in NC]

That is comforting that he was living his life right up until the last moments.

Zac

[FlamingoFever]

It's been two months today, but still feels like yesterday.

Diane, if you still peek in, do you know if there was ever an obit done?  I've perodically checked the Fort Pierce and Palm Beach newspapers, but haven't seen anything.  

Does anybody know if there was a funeral held for RLR?

[J. australis]

Deeply saddened by Bob's passing. I've been trying to sign on to the new forum for weeks, but the keyboard keeps blurring...

Vale RLR. You were an inspirational and infinitely generous leader to this global group.

My father died earlier this year - like Bob, a grand old man with both gravitas and an endless sense of fun. To Diane and others closest to RLR, I'd like to offer a thought that has comforted me in my grief...and which seems true to me.

This from a mountaineer: Where do the dead go? They become voices in the minds of the people who loved them.

[Zac in NC]

Glad you are finally here Jo. I was wondering where you had gotten to. I am sorry for your loss as well.

Zac

[Diane Kirkland]

Hi guys -- I didn't realize that there were some posts added since I was last here; I'm "subscribed" to the thread but didn't get notices.  

First, thank you for keeping us in your thoughts.  It means a lot.  Jo, I'm sorry for your loss and understand...

Cassandra, I wrote an obit for the family to use but they asked me to hold off on sending it to the papers.  Although I have been in touch with Bob's partner, Rany, several times a week and his neighbor and friend, Jean Smith, several times a week, I haven't heard from his sister for quite a while.

I can tell you that the rains have kept the palms around his house growing.  Neighbor, Jean, (who wasn't such a palm fan at first) says they're beautiful and will be taking a few pictures for me soon (I'll post them here).

I hired someone to get files off his computer so I could wind up some business and help with the final submission of A Pocket Guide to Palms.  Larry Noblick of Montgomery Botananical Center did a great job in going through the manuscript; Scott Zona of Fairchild and our own "Pablo" -- Paul Craft -- also reviewed the manuscript.  I consolidated their comments and got them to Timber Press in time.  

I wrote a short article for Palms about Bob (Journal of IPS), and will post it here after it's published.  

Bob didn't want a funeral service.  He made me promise (I think I said this before) that his body would be cremated.

I have to admit that after the shock of his death wore off, I had a very very difficult time.  Going through his computer files, reading his last manuscript without being able to talk to him about it, etc., was hard.  

Now I'm in a weird state where I keep thinking that it's difficult now but he'll be coming back and things will be the way they were.  I'm not even touching this one.  It's easier to deal with than "never, ever...."

It was scary to go through his computer files and email (necessary for the book and estate business) -- I said that we told each other everything over the years but rarely do people reveal all.  However, the only thing I learned that I didn't know was that he had done many kind and generous things for friends that he didn't mention.

The continued care of his friends here is comforting beyond what you can imagine.  Thank you.

D.

[Diane Kirkland]

Here's the obituary I prepared for the family:

Robert Lee Riffle

Award-winning author, Robert Lee Riffle, passed away at his Fort Pierce, Florida, home on Friday, August 11, 2006, at age 65.  An internationally-recognized authority on palms and tropical plants, Mr. Riffle was one of the few authors who twice received The American Horticulture Society’s Book Award for his publications, The Tropical Look: An Encyclopedia of Dramatic Landscape Plants and An Encyclopedia of Cultivated Palms (the latter co-authored with Paul Craft).  His third book, A Pocket Guide to Palms will be published in 2007.  

Since the 1980s, Bob Riffle was a strong presence online, answering questions and encouraging gardeners in their endeavors via postings on garden and plant message boards.  He generously shared his extensive knowledge gently and with wit through his membership in the International Palm Society, and wrote articles for their publication, Palms, as well as for many of their chapters’ publications.  He was the moderator of the IPS’s active PalmTalk message board, and tributes to him can be read online at www.palmtalk.org.

In addition to his love of palms and tropicals, Bob Riffle was an accomplished pianist, received a degree in music at Centenary College, was a gifted photographer and an enthusiastic film buff.  His circle of friends who shared his interests is worldwide.  

Mr. Riffle was born in Fort Worth, Texas, and spent most of his life in Houston..  He moved to Fort Pierce, Florida, in 2000 for the opportunity to more closely study some of the palms he included in his second book.  

Mr. Riffle is survived by his sister, Nancy Bell of Calvert, Texas; his daughter, Donna Hutcheson and two granddaughters of Rowlett, Texas; a cousin, and his long-time companion, Jesse R. “Rany” McIntyre.  

Arrangements for a private ceremony are being made by Hainsley Funeral Home in Fort Pierce, Florida.   His ashes will rest under the 99-year-old, 100,000 pound Adansonia digitata (Baobob tree) at The Kampong in Coral Gables Florida, the former estate of his boyhood hero, David Fairchild.

[BS Man about Palms]

Diane, Its wonderful to hear from you again and I'm glad you are coping.  Your thoughts and comments will ALWAYS be welcome anywhere on this forum!

Love to you,

Bill

[Diane Kirkland]

Bill, thank you.  Your message is like a warm hug.  It feels good to be back here and see what's going on with you all.

[bgl]

Diane,

Thanks a lot for your update and the obituary! It's always great to hear from you. I'm sorry you went thru a rough time, and I guess it's one of life's ironies that the more we get out of a particular relationship (no matter what the nature of that relationship may be), the greater the loss and the more difficult it is to deal with a loss when it happens.

I do believe that when something bad happens, something good always comes out of it, and the challenge many times is figuring out what that good may be. Sometimes we may not know for years. And when we lose someone close to us, it is particularly difficult. I know from experience...

Aloha,

Bo-Göran

[Diane Kirkland]

And when we lose someone close to us, it is particularly difficult. I know from experience...

Thank you, Bo-Göran.  I know now that the understanding you have only comes from a similar experience; I'm sorry for yours.

This forum was one of RLR's favorite group of people.  It's a source of joy to me to see it rocking along on best behavior (and Mike Burnett handling the minor exceptions quickly and efficiently).  

There's just something special about palm lovers that I  love!

[FlamingoFever]

Where do the dead go? They become voices in the minds of the people who loved them./I]

Jo, what a beautiful sentiment.  I am very sorry to hear of your own personal loss.

Dearest Diane, we sure did miss you and your Dianeisms. The obituary is so well written.  I did find this, I hope I linked it correctly:

Haisley Funeral Home

After seeing the name of the funeral home, I Googled and found there is a guestbook for Bob and a short obit.

It must be very difficult going through Bob's computer files and emails, it must keep you in the moment, without getting the time and distance to begin the healing process.

Just think of the good work that you are doing, we all have something more of RLR to look forward to.  I can't wait for the published book to come out.  

Thank you again, for sharing.

[Diane Kirkland]

Thank you Cassandra.  Btw, I sent the obit to the funeral home asking them if they would use it in place of what's there.  The people at the funeral home know his wonderful neighbor, so I used her as a reference.  It would be nice to have more information at that site.

I'm actually doing a lot better than I was.  Unfortunately, during the most difficult time, two friends were leading a long garden tour in Italy, two others were in Mexico for a month and another was on the East Coast.  Now everyone's back.  I don't think I really even felt like I lived alone during the 12-13 years RLR and I were talking.

I do have at least one more funny (to me anyway) Riffle story to tell.  I'll get to that very soon.  

In the meantime, when I do look in here, I am so pleased to see the forum thriving and so proud of the people contributing.  

It will be odd to have A Pocket Guide to Palms come out without RLR seeing it, but it wasn't the most important thing to him; he would be glad to know that it did come out without his having to do the last bit of work on it (which he hated doing).  When I got the manuscript back to Timber I could hear his voice, "You did good...."  I felt his approval from head to toe.  It was a good thang.

[Diane Kirkland]

I have one last story to add to this thread...I'm working on taking pleasure in my memories of RLR and trying to let the sadness and grief fade to the background while learning to live with the permanent hole he left in my life.

Bob enjoyed the company and friendship of women and had close friendships with many smart, funny and accomplished females.  The group was diverse.  Often he hadn't met them in person or only saw them once in a while.  It didn't matter.  

One of his friends from his Houston neighborhood was a very attractive, very social, businesswoman he called "Miss Em."  When she was going through the neighborhood with a petition about something, he actually answered the door.  She later told me she'd been dying to see who lived in the mysterious house surrounded by all the palms and tropical plants.  

There was an immediate spark of friendship between the two of them -- never an easy friendship because they were quite different, but they both benefited from it in many ways and had some very good times over the years.  

After Bob moved to Florida, Em decided to visit.  When Bob told me she was going to be staying at their house in Florida, I was horrified.  Bob's version of "decorating" was not having to climb over too many books to get to his other favorites.

When they moved in, I found a kitchen table and chairs on a local eBay auction which he picked up in Miami on a combined trip to The Kampong.  That was the end of the traditional furniture.

I immediately went to work on helping him organize the guest room into an oasis for Em.  On eBay, I found bedding, night stands, lamps -- everything she would need to close the door and feel at home.  

Can you imagine explaining what a dust ruffle (for the bed) is to a man who'd slept with the mattress on the floor all his life (and still preferred that)?  :>  

His neighbor, Jean Smith, pitched in with the names of a cleaning crew who came in and did their thang.  Finally the house was ready.  Then the trip was planned with driving to Key West, I helped him find a B&B and other places to stay along the way.  I found the names of restaurants they could try.  

These preparations went on for weeks.  RLR was exhausted by them but looking forward to the trip.  Em was involved in all the reservations at places to stay and places to eat and all were happily anticipating the trip to Fairchild, The Kampong and the drive south.  The car was serviced and washed.  Usually Emilie drove when they went places in Houston, and he was looking forward to driving this time.  

After Em arrived, I talked to her about the room, the house, the plans; I talked to Bob about the trip and how it felt to have everything ready.  He was looking forward to the drive.  They were both happy to see each other again.

The next morning, as in the tradition of Robert Lee Riffle (the world's biggest nightowl) they left at the crack of 6 p.m. for Miami.  About 50 miles out, they decided to stop at a store for something; Bob turned right, missed the gravel drive into the parking lot, drove into a ditch, back up and out and hung the car up on a parking lot barrier.   :>

Em drove the rest of the trip.

[Diane Kirkland]

A very close friend of mine, who bore witness to and understood my love and friendship with Robert Lee Riffle, sent me this poem a few weeks ago.  She said it was from Bob to me.  I will close with this:

PROMISSORY NOTE

Galway Kinnell:

 If I die before you

 which is all but certain

 then in the moment

 before you will see me

 become someone dead

 in a transformation

 as quick as a shooting star's

 I will cross over into you

 and ask you to carry

 not only your own memories

 but mine too until you

 too lie down and erase us

 both together into oblivion

[Zac in NC]

Diane- I love hearing the stories of Bob's adventures( or should they be mis-adventures as in the last one)? I really miss seeing him on the boards and just the other day I was looking at a post I thought was recent and there it was, that flashing avatar with RLR on it, and I just about burst into tears then.

Zac

[Diane Kirkland]

Zac, RLR would be so pleased that he got you to join the IPS.  I'm sort of waffling on renewing because I get such a tug at my heart whenever anything arrives.  

When Rany calls me from their house, it shows on my caller ID as "Robert Riffle" -- that gets me, too!

[Zac in NC]

Diane- That would get me as well. I know Bob would be pleased. I did promise him to do it.

Zac

[AJQ]

Wow! I have been away from the board for several months due to work constraints. I am deeply saddened by this news.

Bob had the enthusiasm and energy and gave me encouragement as I embarked on my new passion and for this I will be enternally grateful.

His passing is truly a great loss.

My belated Condolences to family and relatives.

With Heavy Heart, Andy.

[Gaston in Argentina]

Memmories for Mr. RL Riffle.-

Gaston,Ar

[Walter John]

This is weird, I had trouble sleeping so here I am in the board of eternal palmaholics. Yesterday, at the back of my place, they cut down all the trees, in particular a mango tree and grapefruit tree which have been providing shade all this time. But I don't need the shade anymore, the palms at the back there have grown up and will actually do better now as winter sun will come through a whole lot more.

Then for some reason out of the blue I thought of Bob Riffle as some kind of force behind this event. It seems Bob, you are going to be the sunshine on this part of my garden.

Cheers big fella, they wear aloha shirts up there ?

[Zac in NC]

We all miss you Bob. One year without you has sucked the big one.

Zac

[PALM MOD]

Zac,

Thanks for reminding us about the passage of a year without Bob.

I would like to think he would be surprised and proud about how his Forum has grown, and the friendly helpful manner that knowledge is still being shared here.

[ania]

I was thinking about Bob today, and  remembered that it would already be a year without him. I am sure that he would be proud how well people who visit the forum get along,  despite sometimes heated political discussions.

Ania

[Walter John]

He passed on a wonderful legacy more than capably managed by you Deano.

[bgl]

Dean,

It's not often I disagree with you, but I'd like to think that Bob would NOT have been surprised by how the Forum has grown. I'm convinced he had all the confidence in his fellow plant and palm lovers that we'd be able to get along in a friendly and helpful fashion, and help make the Forum continue to grow. But I'm sure he'd be proud!

Bo-Göran

[Gbarce]

WOW.

I never new the man personally but I think we had some exchanges in the forums and I was so surprised to find that I was actually communicating with the author of the book I have been reading so intently for the past month (even more than the 7th book of Harry Potter).

I read the book practically everynight before falling asleep and its literally given me a lot of joy as it feeds my hunger for information for something that I have grown so passionately about.

The best way to remember him I guess is to continue enjoying palms and passing on his passion and love to others.

[steve 9atx]

All

I was fortunate today to be at Mercer Arboretum where there is a substantial bench dedicated to Bob in the palm garden.  I was there to donate three Hyphaene petersiana seedlings in his memory.  While I helped Linda Gay, the Director label them and put them in temporary pots, we chatted about the palms and how and where to plant them out.  I told her that Bob had identified this particular species for me from my Africa photos.  He told me that this species, unlike others in its genus was unlikely to branch.  So I told Linda it would be very, very unusual to see this one branch.  She said," I don't know, it could happen, we have Bob's spirit here all around us here...."

Now, after that, I absolutely expect to show up at the Mercer palm garden 20 years from now to see a branching H. petersiana, and I'll crack a little smile because I'll know who's responsible.

Steve

[BS Man about Palms]

I Think of Bob everytime I see a "Fine leaf fakey Ambositrae"  Because I hope someone, somewhere names it what has been suggested here in the past , "Dypsis riffleii".  

[DoomsDave]

(BS, Man about Palms @ Aug. 16 2007,22:43)

QUOTE

I Think of Bob everytime I see a "Fine leaf fakey Ambositrae"  Because I hope someone, somewhere names it what has been suggested here in the past , "Dypsis riffleii".  

Here here!

(Hear hear)?

[Tyrone]

I think it's been two years since RLR left us. Was thinking about him and some of his posts the other night. He's still very much missed. His presence here was great. A unique guy.

Best regards

Tyrone

[PALM MOD]

Yes,

It's been two years since Robert's passing, and I would like to think that he would continue to be surprised and proud at the progress and success that Palmtalk enjoys.

[_Keith]

Bob lives on everytime this board gets a hit.

[realarch]

Wonderful posts, wonderful tributes. I wish I'd have known of and joined this board years ago. His books are my bibles.

Tim

[Walt]

I must admit my palms and tropical plant growing isn't as enjoyable since Bob's passing. Bob visited me twice and toured my garden (I had been to his place many times).

Like most gardens, it has grown and matured much in two years. But actually, the last time Bob was at my place was in June of 2003, so things have really changed.

I liked it when Bob toured my garden and looked and commented on things. I got vicarious pleasure seeing Bob taking delight when looking at some of my plantings.

I extremely miss Bob's replies to mine and other's question here at the Palmtalk forums.

In any event, when Bob last visited me he gave me a small ear tree (Enterolobium species). I don't know if it was E. contortisliquum or E. cyclocarpum, but he told me it was the more cold hardy of the two species. I don't think he indicates that in The Tropical Look. If anybody knows, please tell me.

Anyway, the small potted tree (maybe a two gallon size) had two main leaders. For some unknown reason (maybe the tree was freshly dug from the field) both leaders died all the way back to the soil.

Then, some time later, how long I dont recall now, new growth started to emerge.

About a year later I planted the tree. Funny thing, this tree would drop it's leaves almost every summer. Maybe it was from lack of water, I don't know. But then would releaf. (I have another ear tree that never drops its leaves, other than some during the winter, then it releafs in spring.)

The first time the leaves fell off (during the summer) I thought the tree was dying. I was worried as I wanted this tree as a remembrance of Bob. But it would releaf each time. So far this summer the tree hasn't dropped its leaves. However, it's been a wet summer here.

Here is my latest photo of Bob Riffle's ear tree. I refer to it as the Riffle ear tree. So far it hasn't produced seed pods, but I suspect it will next year based on the size my other, larger ear tree first produced seed pods.

[Diane Kirkland]

>> I must admit my palms and tropical plant growing isn't as enjoyable since Bob's passing

Same here, Walt. It was a nice surprise to see a photo of your plant from Bob and also nice to see current comments about him. It's still difficult for me to read this board without him, but I am so concerned about his friends in the path of Ike that I wanted to see what was going on.

Diane

[Walt]

Hi Diane,

I believe I once spoke to you by phone (or maybe it was by email, I can't recall now) when Bob had to evacuate his home during a hurricane and he was up in Orlando for several days and was trying to get in touch with me.

In any event, IMO, this forum is not the same without Bob. I've have so many pent-up questions I would like to ask him. I miss just reading his advice to others at this and other forums, as he was a repository of tropical plant/palms knowledge.

Bob gave me that ear (Enterolobium) tree when my wife and I hosted the June 2003 Central Florida Palm and Cycad Society's quarterly meeting and plant sale. He knew I liked those trees as we drove around my environs (during a previous visit) looking at some very large ones. Naturally, that tree holds a special meaning to me now. I miss my friend.

Walt

>> I must admit my palms and tropical plant growing isn't as enjoyable since Bob's passing

Same here, Walt. It was a nice surprise to see a photo of your plant from Bob and also nice to see current comments about him. It's still difficult for me to read this board without him, but I am so concerned about his friends in the path of Ike that I wanted to see what was going on.

Diane

[Walt]

I was thinking of Bob today.

The Enterolobuim contortisiliquum tree Bob gave me in June of 2003 as a 2-gallon sapling is fully leafed out now. Little did I know when Bob gave me this tree that it would prompt me (each time I look at it) to remember my palm and tropical plant friend. Bob may be gone now, but he will never be forgotten. While I was happy to get this tree from Bob, it has far more meaning to me now than it did back in June of 2003 due to the unfortunate circumstances that followed. When I show folks who visit my garden this tree, I refer to it as the Riffle Ear Tree (and tell them the story behind it).