Tips for New Floridians?

[palmmermaid]

Love that song - "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy". So true!

If you see palm trees and other tropicals and hear Trace Adkins, Toby Keith, or Jimmy Buffet you are at my house!

[Moose]

Moose, You always makin fun a ma nepew ,Clem. He ain't too bad once e git da knowed em.

Ron, That looks great! You win! You ever go to Naples for that Mud-Flap Tournament?

Bubba - why you always got to throw up Clem at me? Ya'll know how sensitive I am. The tires on his truck is bigger than mine, his double wide is bigger than mine and his wife has all her toofies . Your just plain mean, are ya sure your not a closet Georgia Bulldog?

Ron

[Jerry@TreeZoo]

Ron, ain't you got no educashun? The plural of toof is not toofies, it is teef.

Jerry

[www.dadluvsu.com]

I always thought we were crackers. How does that rank in there with hicks, rednecks, white trash, etc... Anyone have a breakdown on this?

[Moose]

Ron, ain't you got no educashun? The plural of toof is not toofies, it is teef.

Jerry

I apologize for my ignorance. I was denied acceptance to the University of Florida for being over qualified.

My jacuzzi is a 55 gallon drum with an electric trolling motor.

Ron.

[Palmə häl′ik]

I think we are a episode on JerrySpringerShow.

[palmmermaid]

Let me see if I can straighten this out.

Redneck - I explained that in an earlier post here.

Hick - Someone with no raising - aka hillbilly. Doesn't know how to conduct him/herself among civilized folks

White trash - People who are just plain ignorant and uncaring. They have cars on blocks, they have even less raising than hicks. They spit on the sidewalk, slam doors in your face, scratch themselves in public - you get my drift.

Cracker - a native Floridian. It is said to come from the sound the bullwhips made when the cowboys here were driving the cows out of the swamps and brush.

Redneck and cracker can be derogatory if applied by a non-native Floridian.

Hick and white trash are always derogatory.

[palmmermaid]

I think we are a episode on JerrySpringerShow.

Sorry, Jerry wouldn't have us. We know who our parents are and that we are the parents of any children we claim!

[rozpalm]

Ron, ain't you got no educashun? The plural of toof is not toofies, it is teef.

Jerry

You know Jerry, if they had properly named the "tooth brush" as the "teeth brush", there wouldn't be so many rednecks with only one tooth.

[bubba]

Kitty, Astute,adroit and accurate summary of the facts. Thank you

Ron, Are they bitin?

Moose, No Leghumpers in my Trailer Park! Sorry for the bad news on Clem's grades.

[bubba]

Kitty, Astute,adroit and accurate summary of the facts. Thank you

Ron, Are they bitin?

Moose, No Leghumpers in my Trailer Park! Sorry for the bad news on Clem's grades.

[Ken Johnson]

Shooooot. You guys came up with all this just from a crazy Dave question? Dang I love this place!

[Palmə häl′ik]

Has he made it past Texas yet Dave? I remember it took along time to cross it once for me...

~Ray.

[DoomsDave]

Has he made it past Texas yet Dave? I remember it took along time to cross it once for me...

~Ray.

He's coming from Ohio . . . .

[Palmə häl′ik]

Oh. He's already in the great state of FL then.

Shouldn't take a but a day or too from Ohio.

WELCOME TO FLORIDA, DAVE'S LITTLE BROTHER!

[DoomsDave]

Dunno if he's there yet, but I'll try to call him.

(I suspect he hasn't even left yet. He's not an adventurer . . . . .)

Hmm. Yeah, I remember those signs in Floridy. So, who would molest an alligator? Someone desperate?

[Palmə häl′ik]

Only outta towners and SnowBirds. We have gator molestation cases caused by NYC folk all the time...

A shame, when we have all these bu-bah barz everywhere...

J/K of course.

You'll have to 'scuse me. I'm medicated.

~Ray.

[DoomsDave]

Only outta towners and SnowBirds. We have gator molestation cases caused by NYC folk all the time...

A shame, when we have all these bu-bah barz everywhere...

J/K of course.

You'll have to 'scuse me. I'm medicated.

~Ray.

What's a bu-bah bar?

[Palmə häl′ik]

TittyBars. Strip Clubs, Nudie Bar, whatever you call it.

It's the place I used to hang out back in the day; ya know...

A good place to, ya know, unwind a little. and unroll some of that cash...

~Ray.

[DoomsDave]

TittyBars. Strip Clubs, Nudie Bar, whatever you call it.

It's the place I used to hang out back in the day; ya know...

A good place to, ya know, unwind a little. and unroll some of that cash...

~Ray.

God say:

"Y'all got too much money, sonny!"

Yee-haw

[amazondk]

Booby Trap.

[Moose]

Dave - what's up? Did all the redneck banter turn your brother around?

Moose

[DoomsDave]

Dave - what's up? Did all the redneck banter turn your brother around?

Moose

Naw, he went there on Thursday a week ago, and found himself in this motel on the outsirks o'Jax which is full everyone BUT rednecks.

We've been talking every night, and he's got interviews in Tampa and Fort Lauderdale next week, yee haw . . .

[Palmə häl′ik]

I got a 3br 2ba house for rent in Brandon for $1200 mth. (negotiable) I hope he gets that job in Tampa.

~Ray.

[Eric in Orlando]

Tell him to arm himself and wear a flak vest if he drives thru Orlando...

[DoomsDave]

Brother went to Tampa yesterday, and it looks promising. Be nice to another place to visit when I go to FLorida again . . .

[Dave-Vero]

I've been away from Jax for 12 years. The city has had reasonably good leadership for many years, but:

Northside (north of the St. Johns River) is predominantly black and had problems of poverty and (at least during the 1980s and 1990s) very high rates of armed robbery, homicide, and such. The current mayor is the son of a highly successful local businessman whose first enterprise was a gas station in the very worst part of town.

Much of the Westside, other than Avondale and Ortega has also tended to be sketchy, but mostly white.

Arlington in the vicinity of Jacksonville University is very sketchy. So is much of the inner Southside.

Which leaves the beaches. They're thriving. The former Blighted Zone (that's what everyone called it) has vanished. Also Mandarin and the vast developments along Turner Butler Blvd.

Most of the copiers now live somewhere near Turner Butler, in one of seemingly hundreds of office parks. The old downtown may be reviving, but a dozen years ago, a building boom had quickly flopped, and the new buildings were staying full only because of low rents. The Riverwalk area is safe (always has been), but downtown north of the river lost its retail and restaurants due to armed robbery and such.

Jacksonville drivers tended to be aggressive and/or oblivious. Colleagues from urban California figured it was far easier and safer to drive in SoCal. Jax's primitive traffic engineering didn't help.

Apart from that, the Symphony has a long and mostly impressive history, the Cummer art museum is nice, and there's beaches. The ocean tends to be tea-colored from organic acids from the St. Johns River and salt marshes.

[bayside mike]

Tell him to go to Miami for a while. That will break him in for anything.

[Moose]

Update - did your brother survive the transition?

Ron.

[DoomsDave]

Update - did your brother survive the transition?

Ron.

He survived.

He went back to Ohio, for a whole plethora of reasons.

He might end up joining me out here . . . .

[Palmə häl′ik]

It's tough out there right now.

[DoomsDave]

It's tough out there right now.

It's probably even tougher out here.

But, it'll be nice to see him again, and I've got lots of space at the Death Camp (for palms) . . . . . and the resort for people . . . .

[Eric in Orlando]

So he made it out of FL without getting robbed, shot, stabbed, tazed, invaded, beat down, ran over, road raged, roofied, bit, nipped, constricted, poisoned, crushed, heat stroked, lightning struck, amoeba infected, or violated ?

[DoomsDave]

So he made it out of FL without getting robbed, shot, stabbed, tazed, invaded, beat down, ran over, road raged, roofied, bit, nipped, constricted, poisoned, crushed, heat stroked, lightning struck, amoeba infected, or violated ?

. . . or kissed, pissed, ganged, banged, screamed at, defecated upon, jailed, or even roofied . . . . ?

Hmm. What's roofied?

[tikitiki]

And sun burned. Eric the rest is just a saturday night in O town.

So he made it out of FL without getting robbed, shot, stabbed, tazed, invaded, beat down, ran over, road raged, roofied, bit, nipped, constricted, poisoned, crushed, heat stroked, lightning struck, amoeba infected, or violated ?

[tikitiki]

Not to beat a dead horse but I'm from the real L.A. Lower Alabama. I have seen the most educated and well behaved people still be a racist. That has nothing to due with being a red neck. A red neck is still someone that works and plays out side. A little country yes. a bit more simple in what they need but not in what they are. 10-4.

yes I'm a red neck.

OK, I gotta jump in and provide my definition of a redneck. And in my opinion, it is not limited to Southerners.

I grew up hunting, fishing, farming, and basically living off the land. That does not make me a redneck. My parents insisted on table manners, saying yes ma'am and yes sir, being polite to my elders, and reading. We may have worn hand-me-down clothes but we could read and converse intelligently about many subjects. We were not bigotted or racist. My brothers respect women as my father taught them to do. They open doors and hold coats.

A redneck is none of those things. They have no manners, no respect for property or people, are racists and bigots, and can't speak intelligently about anything. I've seen them in all areas of the country I've traveled through.

I am a seventh generation Floridian and my family always lived in rural Florida. They were farmers, loggers, fishermen, and truckers. The women always worked outside the home - postmistresses, store operators, hotel managers, chefs, accountants. I am proud to be a strong Southern woman. I am not a redneck and no one in my family is - although I do have a sister who is close! My daughter and granddaughters are strong Southern women. But we are all well-read and educated. We are not racists or bigots or homophobes.

And there are small pockets of culture in Florida - here in Palm Beach County for example. We have great museums, good plays and concerts, and many things to do. It is never a question of is there something to do this weekend, but which of the many things do we choose.

Ya'll got my dander up this time! I'll get off my soapbox now.

[Eric in Orlando]

roofied; when someone slips a "roofie" (Rohypnol) into your drink

[Eric in Orlando]

And sun burned. Eric the rest is just a saturday night in O town.

So he made it out of FL without getting robbed, shot, stabbed, tazed, invaded, beat down, ran over, road raged, roofied, bit, nipped, constricted, poisoned, crushed, heat stroked, lightning struck, amoeba infected, or violated ?

ain't that the truth !!!

[Palmə häl′ik]

OMG

He said Roofies!

Nye.Nye time

[DoomsDave]

OMG

He said Roofies!

Nye.Nye time

Hmm. Is it possible to get a roofie between your toofies?