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Give Us Your One-Liner


Phil

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OK. How about a thread with significant one liners that you've heard or thought of regarding palms, palm collectors or palm related activities. The only requirement is that these one liners must be true or not true, near correct or totally false, somewhat factual or all-together wrong, or something along these lines. And, they cannot be insulting or critical of another. You don't have to say whether or not they are coorect. The reader must decipher which ones to believe or not believe and which ones to laugh at. It could be fun. I realize that some might think this trivial and other's might think this is a travesty for valuable server disc space. Indeed, they might be correct. But, some pearls may come forth, we might learn a few things, and a good laugh always warms the soul.

To get it started, I'll give a few:

Crown-shafted palms don't dig.

Don't hand prune a Washingtonia skirt by starting at the bottom.

A real Brahea decumbens is blue from the one leaf stage.

You can grow Dypsis decaryi in the shade.

Guys who go on PRA's have pocket protectors with lots of pens in them.

Don't plant a Roystonea regia within 30 feet of your house (from present thread elsewhere)

Never grow a palm on the top of your head.

Pinanga coronata and kuhlii are the same thing.

Phil

(Oh, what the heck. I'll push the "Post" button now even though I have second thoughts)

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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The classic "Palms won't grow here" that most of you here probably haven't heard. :)

At the risk of sounding stupid, what is a "PRA?" I've seen it mentioned several times, now.

Tom

Bowie, Maryland, USA - USDA z7a
hardiestpalms.com

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Tom,

"PRA" means "Palm Related Activity". It's when guys cruise around looking for or at palms, find them, stop and admire, take pictures and later post these pictures at this site. Even without the photos it's still a PRA but that would bring up a question like "If a tree falls in the forest and no one saw it fall, did it really fall?"

Phil

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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Palms only look good in Arizona

Jody

Chilliwack British Columbia

Zone 8/9 until 3 years ago. Now Zone 6b.

Don't even get me started.

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Phil - I like this thread!

A palm is a palm...they all look the same to me...

Palm trees can't handle hurricanes...

I'll take that bamboo looking palm...

Is that thing going to drop coconuts on my head?

I dont want a palm tree...I came here for a coconut tree!

Sure you can grow a Sealing Wax palm pretty much anywhere...

Jubaea chilensis makes a great atrium plant.

Bactris gasipaes for the entryway? Sure no problem.

You say your palm leaves look bad?? Chop them off! Instant beauty!

Hurricane coming?? Chop them leaves!!

Michael Ferreira

Bermuda-Humid(77% ave), Subtropical Zone 11, no frost

Warm Season: (May-November): Max/Min 81F/73F

Cool Season: (Dec-Apr): Max/Min 70F/62F

Record High: 94F

Record Low: 43F

Rain: 55 inches per year with no dry/wet season

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A Washintonia in the hand is worth three Dypsis in the bush.

Floaters (seeds) don't germinate.

Cyrtostachys renda sighted in back yard of North Dakota farmhouse.

Coconut milk has been used as an intravenous fluid.

Phil

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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"Hey.....my friend likes palms too."

"He has some rare palm he said needs to move, but he has no time, so he said anyone that wants it can come get it"

"Oh yeah, theres two of them, real tall, like 30 feet, he said you could have both if you wanted."

:bemused:

"Did you ever hear him say "Mexican fan palm"? "

"YEAH! thats it! You want them"?

Zone 10a at best after 2007 AND 2013, on SW facing hill, 1 1/2 miles from coast in Oceanside, CA. 30-98 degrees, and 45-80deg. about 95% of the time.

"The great workman of nature is time."   ,  "Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience."

-George-Louis Leclerc de Buffon-

I do some experiments and learning in my garden with palms so you don't have to experience the pain! Look at my old threads to find various observations and tips!

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One I'm still confuzzled about: "Don't use overhead irrigation."

For the record, I use overhead irrigation, but when/if the palms grow taller, it won't be overhead anymore...

Kim Cyr

Between the beach and the bays, Point Loma, San Diego, California USA
and on a 300 year-old lava flow, Pahoa, Hawaii, 1/4 mile from the 2018 flow
All characters  in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Oh, one of my favorite questions from the guy who's palm tree is getting too tall:

"If I cut the palm half way down the trunk will it branch out?"

And Kim, about overhead irrigation: didn't you hear about not growing palms on top of your head?

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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Palms are the second most important plants to mankind in the plant kingdom next to grasses.

For the average PalmTalker grass is the least most important plant in the plant kingdom.

Palms are the princes of the plant kingdom!

Michael Ferreira

Bermuda-Humid(77% ave), Subtropical Zone 11, no frost

Warm Season: (May-November): Max/Min 81F/73F

Cool Season: (Dec-Apr): Max/Min 70F/62F

Record High: 94F

Record Low: 43F

Rain: 55 inches per year with no dry/wet season

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Tom,

"PRA" means "Palm Related Activity". It's when guys cruise around looking for or at palms, find them, stop and admire, take pictures and later post these pictures at this site. Even without the photos it's still a PRA but that would bring up a question like "If a tree falls in the forest and no one saw it fall, did it really fall?"

Phil

Thanks. So, a day without a PRA is like a day without ... coffee. :interesting:

Tom

Bowie, Maryland, USA - USDA z7a
hardiestpalms.com

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Bill Sanford will never find this thread.

All guys with red tennis shoes live in California.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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Not sure if this one's true:

"If you plant a 5 gallon and a 15 gallon of the same palm species, the 5 gallon will outgrow the 15 gallon."

Others things I've heard a lot:

"I don't want a palm that will get TOO BIG!"

"Don't plant a Royal next to a one-story house."

"I'm sold on this pot-planting idea."

"I have a 20ft tall King Sago in my neighborhood."

(I actually said that 6 years ago... It was a Phoenix canariensis. I was talking to the only palm collector I knew at the time)

Zone 9b/10a, Sunset Zone 22

7 miles inland. Elevation 120ft (37m)

Average annual low temp: 30F (-1C)

Average annual rainfall: 8" (20cm)

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You are asking how much?? I had one that I bought at Costc_ for $20.00!! ( looking at your 15 gallon Trachycarpus Oreophilus)

Jody

Chilliwack British Columbia

Zone 8/9 until 3 years ago. Now Zone 6b.

Don't even get me started.

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The label said drought tolerant so i left it alone for a good month...in summer

The label said its a water lover so I left the hose running while I watched the Superbowl...gotta love those commercials.

Michael Ferreira

Bermuda-Humid(77% ave), Subtropical Zone 11, no frost

Warm Season: (May-November): Max/Min 81F/73F

Cool Season: (Dec-Apr): Max/Min 70F/62F

Record High: 94F

Record Low: 43F

Rain: 55 inches per year with no dry/wet season

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One Orania seed can kill an elephant.

All Pritchardias are single trunk and never sucker.

Archontophoenix purpurea is absolutely the most cold hardy of all Archontophoenix.

You can get a palm to fork by driving an ax in the crown.

Phil

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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Hyphanae seeds germinate best when collected from Elephant dung.

The "true", perfectly flat leaf Phoenix reclinata is only seen in South Africa.

Caryotas grow taller in California than in Florida and HI.

Common names of palms are determined by groups of PhD's working in institutions.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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One I heard JUST recently.

"I'd like a palm that gets big, will take full sun now, but can't have a big pot".

"Heres a 5 gal whatchamacallit"

"Too big"

"OK, heres a 2 gal, OK the pots the right size, the palm is too small and this will take full sun right now, right"?

"uuumm, no"

I finally decided I didn't know where to locate any 5 foot tall full sun ready palms in 2 gal pots on the mainland, Darn Hawaii guys! (Wait, they're not sun ready there, either!) :lol:

Zone 10a at best after 2007 AND 2013, on SW facing hill, 1 1/2 miles from coast in Oceanside, CA. 30-98 degrees, and 45-80deg. about 95% of the time.

"The great workman of nature is time."   ,  "Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience."

-George-Louis Leclerc de Buffon-

I do some experiments and learning in my garden with palms so you don't have to experience the pain! Look at my old threads to find various observations and tips!

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It can take the outstretched arms of three grown men to reach around the trunk of a well grown Jubaea chilensis.

Pink Rot is a name given to a sought-after dessert in Papua New Guinea.

Tea (aged) made from used coffee grounds might be effective in treating mealy bug.

Steer manure in the bottom of the new hole will make newly planted palms grow faster.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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The Mule Palm got its name because the oldest known specimen was dragged from Miami to Fort Lauderdale by a mule named Bert.

If they closed down PalmTalk, divorce rates would drop.

An old horticulturist with double vision was the first man to describe the Double Coconut.

There's a well known palm grower in So Cal who paints the crown shafts of her palms red just to fool people.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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A well know palm enthusiast from Southern California once hung from a helicopter by straps just to collect palm seeds.

Washingtonia robusta will sprout up in dirt piles from bird droppings of overhead flocks.

The name "Flame Thrower" came from a palm grower in California during the 90's.

Gophers particularly like Ravenea.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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A bad PRA day is better than a good workday, any day . . . . .

A day without palms is like a day without sunshine.

A palm in the ground is worth ten in the hand . . . . .

Let's keep our forum fun and friendly.

Any data in this post is provided 'as is' and in no event shall I be liable for any damages, including, without limitation, damages resulting from accuracy or lack thereof, insult, or lost profits or revenue, claims by third parties or for other similar costs, or any special, incidental, or consequential damages arising out of my opinion or the use of this data. The accuracy or reliability of the data is not guaranteed or warranted in any way and I disclaim liability of any kind whatsoever, including, without limitation, liability for quality, performance, merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose arising out of the use, or inability to use my data. Other terms may apply.

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Mule palms thrive best when hit by two-by-fours . . . .

Let's keep our forum fun and friendly.

Any data in this post is provided 'as is' and in no event shall I be liable for any damages, including, without limitation, damages resulting from accuracy or lack thereof, insult, or lost profits or revenue, claims by third parties or for other similar costs, or any special, incidental, or consequential damages arising out of my opinion or the use of this data. The accuracy or reliability of the data is not guaranteed or warranted in any way and I disclaim liability of any kind whatsoever, including, without limitation, liability for quality, performance, merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose arising out of the use, or inability to use my data. Other terms may apply.

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palms like well draining soil

sago palms!!! I love those! got any for sale?

nope, and to tell ya the truth, they really arnt even a palm!

(confused silent stare)

Yea, they are more closely related to pine tress than palms which are closely relate to grass!

(confused silent stare)

do you want to buy some grass?

"what kinda grass are we talking about?"

:unsure::rolleyes::lol:

Luke

Tallahassee, FL - USDA zone 8b/9a

63" rain annually

January avg 65/40 - July avg 92/73

North Florida Palm Society - http://palmsociety.blogspot.com/

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Now THIS is a fun game. Right off the top of my head.

As my wife once said....

Once you've seen one palm, you've seen them all. :blink:

Hmm...others?

1.Don't worry, that Lipstick Palm will come back from the roots.

2.Let's cut the palm in half to count the rings and see how old it is.

3.But he told me that it's a Hyophorbe Americaulis. Everybody's got one.

4.The guy at Home Depot told me that this will do great in my area.

Coastal San Diego, California

Z10b

Dry summer subtropical/Mediterranean

warm summer/mild winter

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'Coconut milk has been used as an intravenous fluid'

I once read that during World War II coconut water (the clear liquid found inside a coconut) was used as an intravenous fluid, so I guess there's some truth to that one. BTW, the liquid found inside a coconut fruit is not the milk. Coconut milk is liquid squeezed out from the mature white fruit.

Hawaii Island (Big Island), leeward coast, 19 degrees N. latitude, south Kona mauka at approx. 380m (1,250 ft.) and about 1.6 km (1-mile) upslope from ocean.

 

No record of a hurricane passing over this island (yet!).  

Summer maximum rainfall - variable averaging 900-1150mm (35-45") - Perfect drainage on black volcanic rocky soil.  

Nice sunsets!

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Yes, my garden is somewhat congested, but I've got room for just one more over here!

San Francisco, California

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.........and I bought this mapu at Lowes.

"If you need me, I'll be outside" -Randy Wiesner Palm Beach County, Florida Zone 10Bish

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w-melon is a cross between regular/hookeri

collecting palm seed in new caledonia is pretty easy. why those (...) caledonian guys...

Cyphophoenix alba is not inside the right genus

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Copernicia can't be transplanted.

Palms have tap roots.

That palm needs to be cleaned up. (pointing at a Coccothrinax crinita.)

My Mom has one of those in her yard.

It's a rare palm alright!

I DIG PALMS

Call me anytime to chat about transplanting palms.

305-345-8918

https://www.facebook...KenJohnsonPalms

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Why do you hate those cabbage palms so much? Cause they are roach motels

Is that your monster clump arecas? yes...and they are full of rats...which attract the snakes.

I had all my coconut trees cut down cause they are messy and dangerous during hurricanes.

Thats not a miniature royal palm? No, its an adonidia Merrillii. What the home owner hear..."No, its a blah blah blah blah palm"

Cape Coral,FL Southwest

Zone 10a

LSUAvatar1-1.jpg

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"Is that a silver cabbage "? Or " that looks like a silver cabbage" speaking of a Bismarkia.

"All fan palms look the same"

"I want a palm that don't get very big but grows fast"

Do you like palms? "No they drop all those big orange seeds"

Customer looking at a coccothrinax and says "there's a cabbage tree"

A palm that you have grown for 8 yrs and the customer says will you take $15 ? or sometimes $5

"I live in zone 5b can I grow a bismarkia ? " "I think I seen some growing near my house" or 8b and wants to grow a coconut.

"I heard a palm tree will tear out your driveway" or your foundation

"Can I make a palm tree stop growing if I cut the top off ?"

"Do you got any of those palms that grow in three's ? "

Edited by Davidl

David

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I have heard this:

You can't grow palms in england you fool!(pillock,idiot,dumb #### etc etc)

or

Flowers? Don't be daft,palms don't flower!

or

So drinking chocolate comes from a cocoa palm?

(Not kidding guys,I have seen this!)

Larry Shone in wet and sunny north-east England!  Zone9 ish

Tie two fish together and though they have two tails they cannot swim <>< ><>

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There are no new species of palms yet to be found in Madagascar.

If a palm is skinny and suckers and from Madagascar, it must be a Dypsis.

All Dypsis baronii look identical.

When you buy palm seeds, have total confidence that it is what is says.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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You've got to understand that my yard is this special "microenvironment" like nowhere else and I can grow anything!

If I grow a hundred thousand Lipstick Palms from seed, one will make it in San Diego.

I got a great deal on soil with free delivery when they excavated for that parking lot below the highrise.

People who grow Wine Palms have a higher incidence of alcoholism.

Jungle Music Palms and Cycads, established 1977 and located in Encinitas, CA, 20 miles north of San Diego on the Coast.  Phone:  619 2914605 Link to Phil's Email phil.bergman@junglemusic.net Website: www.junglemusic.net Link to Jungle Music Palms and Cycads

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I say, " if it's got more than one trunk, it's a palm bush, not a palm tree ", Ed

MOSQUITO LAGOON

Oak_Hill.gif

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