TINTIN in the Land of the Mystery Dypsis

[Walter John]

Tintin sat dejected in his paint peeled turquoise motel chair one night, eating his toast and marmalade for tea when all of a sudden Captain Haddock came running down the path, screaming and yelling so excitedly the lit tobacco blew out of his pipe and onto his face burning and blinding his eyes, he failed to see Snowy lying in the way and he tripped and spun and spiralled in the air for several metres before falling flat on his back, throwing up mulched straw dust a mile high into the sky, almost reaching the top of Tintin’s enormous Caribbean royal palm.

He in fact had landed right in front of a goggle eyed Tintin. The Captain raised himself up on one elbow and spoke in between saddening slow breaths,

“Tintin, (puff, puff, pant, pant), you must come with us, (puff, puff, and half a pant), Crikey Mikey has found a new palm tree, (puff), and he needs us now, we have to go with him immediately !”, the Captain implored..

Tintin looked about him for his pocket guide to cultivated palms.

“We must go now Tintin”, Captain Haddock yelled

“Where is it ?” answered Tintin.

“It’s on a small island off Madagascar”, replied the Captain

“No, my book you moron, where’s my pocket guide ?”, Tintin said matter of factly.

Later that day, on a salty ship deck of the “SS Colin Wilson” in the middle of the Searle sea, Tintin, the Professor, Thomson and Thomson and a bandaged snowy paced back and forth, discussing the prospects of finding a new palm tree.

Later on..........that night, or was it the night after ?, this is just so mysterious.

Our travellers were sleeping well that night, or was it the night after ?, floating lazily over the waves, as the Professor snored in time to the tune of “My canary’s got circles under his eyes” when all of a sudden, a great roar was heard from out at sea. A light in the distance could be seen, perhaps it was another ship, I should make up my mind quickly, I’m writing this crap and getting nowhere fast.

To be continued

[Kim]

Oh, I can't wait for the next chapter! Are there any pirates in this story?

[Walter John]

“Ahoy there”, a faraway voice echoed out across the waves. How faraway the voice was could be anyone’s guess. It was all to no avail though, everyone was asleep, everyone except the recently injured and oh so faithful Snowy or as the professor liked to call him, “species white”.

Snowy yelped and barked, then he barked and yelped, then leapt down the ladder to fall on Tintin’s belly, any place lower and species white would likely be renamed.

Tintin sat up abruptly and said to Snowy, “what the hell Snowy, I’m trying to sleep here !”. Snowy yelped and barked, then he barked and yelped and then everyone awoke and they all went for Snowy with a salmon fish hook each, then Tintin barely heard a faraway voice, “Ahoy there !”

Everyone dropped their weapons and raced up to the ships deck and looked out to sea.

“Ahoy back!”, called the Captain.

“Ahoy Captain Haddock, it’s me, your old friend and acquaintance, ha ha “, growled the approaching voice on the approaching vessel.

“Curses, it’s Hydra Steel, the Black Stem pirate, the most despised collector on the seven seas, four lakes and one murky river”, Haddock whispered to his compadres on the Colin Wilson.

[Walter John]

Hydra’s ship was named the “BS” after his illegal collection of cultivated black stem palm trees. He eased up alongside the CW, and then Haddock began an uneasy conversation.

“Hello Hydra, long time no sea, ha ha , get it ? no sea ? ”.

“Haddock you’re an idiot, now let’s get to the point, you’re after something, something mysterious and special, I can just feel it in my black stem , and I means to get it outta ye, you slimey seagull bitten sea hound”.

“No, no , no goodness no, we’re just sailing out here for some fun and relaxation, you see, isn’t that right Tintin, eh eh, Tintin ?”.

The Captain looked around and saw no-one. Tintin and the rest had scampered back below. The yellow bellied custards.

“I see ya friends are very brave Haddock, ha ha ha ha ha , ah ha ha ha ha ha ha .”

Next second Tintin and and the others emerged from below the deck in a soulful death defying leap with such a wide array of dangerous weapons, even a Texan would be afraid to own. Tintin aimed a three spronged shark spear tensioned on a extra large chinese crossbow, the professor held a blunderbuster used for stunning over zealous blue whales in mating season, the Thomson twins were prepared to play their greatest hits through a massive marshall amplifier and someone was just going to chuck species white at Hydra if he moved a muscle.

“Aye Haddock you have me over a barrel this time, just watch ya back now I say”, and as the BS pulled away, Tintin let the tension go on the crossbow and the spear shot up in the air and landed back between the legs of the Professor narrowly missing his groin, forcing the blunderbuster to fire with the ammunition blasting through the ships sails and back down through the hull of the boat and slowly but surely, the Colin Wilson began to sink to the sounds of “We are detective”.

to be continued...............

[Walter John]

If anybody wants me to continue, let me know. I don't know what will happen next either, it's all a mystery.

[Kim]

Ahoy Wal! By all means, continue! You're a natural story teller, ...er, yarn spinner!

[BS Man about Palms]

Never read Tintin stories, but I LIKE THIS! Get to the Mystery Dypsis!!!

[Gbarce]

Please continue-- lets see where this leads and how many Palm talk related things you can incorporate on this adventure.

[aussiearoids]

what a ripping yarn Wal

[DoomsDave]

Hmm.

So what if we jump on in?

[Walter John]

Hmm.

So what if we jump on in?

That would be great Dave, I just want to get these guys onto the island first and you or anyone else could contribute something next. Hold on to your life bouys, here comes the next installment.

[Walter John]

And then................

It was a slow death and as the daylight saving sun poked it’s fiery forehead over the purple horizon, CW finally sank below the surface, leaving our adventurers scrambling for something to hold onto, any piece of flotsam or jetsam would do, Tintin held onto Snowy and Snowy held onto Tintin, no good, they both began to sink. As fate would have it, a huge wave surged forward upon them and carried them all to the shores of a nearby island. Could this be the island of the mystery Dypsis ?

[John in Andalucia]

Tintin and Snowy cut a miserable sight on the beach. Just as things couldn't get any worse, Snowy let out a little yelp, and ran back to the water.

"Snowy come back!" cried Tintin.

A large fin began circling in the shallows, and with an almighty surge, the creature forced itself onto the beach. Tintin's eyes grew wide, but this was no

ordinary sea creature. It was Professor Calculus in his special, shark-shaped, electrically powered one-man submarine. The professor emerged

sheepishly to greet Tintin. He'd stowed it away on the SS Colin Wilson with the intention of searching for sunken treasure in the area, but with their own ship

now wrecked in shallow water, they could at least rescue a few of their belongings.

"Oh Tintin, I'm so glad you are safe!" exclaimed the professor. "What luck, that arrow missed both my legs!".

"Yes, sorry." replied Tintin. "Were Thomson and Thompson and Captain Haddock captured by Hydra?".

"Well, Tintin.." the professor began his reply.

"Never-r-r!!!" bellowed a voice from several yards away. A buzzing, pounding noise filtered across the rippling sea. Captain Haddock and the Thompson twins

raced towards the beach on matching jet-skis which they had seized from Hydra's ship after overpowering the crew.

"You can go three-up on these!" remarked the joyous Captain. "Now where's a fella to get a drink around here!"

The team leapt to their feet and headed up the sand towards the island.

"Wait a minute!" remarked one of the detectives. "Look!".

A driftwood sign hung in the breeze from an old coconut tree. It read: The Dransfield Arms - Rum & Fine Ales. The Captain's eyes lit up, as he noticed several marker posts ahead.

"Quick lads, this way!" exclaimed Haddock, and without looking back they headed for the forest.

[Walter John]

All except the stowaway who waded in slowly from the sea as Tintin and the rest followed the Captain into the jungle. He was a slight lad and had kept himself hidden through the whole journey and when the Colin Wilson began it’s slow descent, he quickly dove away from the others and swam in a different direction.

He soon saw the others up ahead beaching themselves and nearly got mowed down by one of the jet skis. They never saw him though, and here he crouched on the wet sand on hands and knees as the waves ended in white froth at his ocean crinkled toes, watching warily, the Tintin team disappear into the foliage.

“The dude”, as they referred to him back at Utowpea, had other plans this day. It was the mystery Dypsis sure he was after, but he had inside help the others did not. He had been in contact before they sailed with Dazza and Smardy, two island locals who claimed they had located this magnificent mystery palm, and if he became owner and claimant first, then this would make the dude the envy of all collectors.

Time would not be his friend, he must move swiftly, else the Tintin ratpack would get there first. In no time, the dude raced into the greenery, heading away from the direction of the Dransfield watering hole and into the jungle deep, where no-one can hear you scream.

[Walter John]

Click here

[Kim]

What next???

[Jeff Searle]

Click here

"Click here" for what? 9 seconds of music...........??

[Walter John]

Click here

"Click here" for what? 9 seconds of music...........??

Just like your avatar Jeff, you're just this much out of focus, but I still love you like a brother. Stay with us now, this story is about to get really interesting.

[Walter John]

“Excuse me !”, said the old laughing lady in the manchester football jersey and one white sock.

“Could you please help lower me under this bridge ?, there's far too many people going over the top, besides the creek is dry”, she giggled cheekily (the lady spoke in cheeky Malagasy, but for the benefit of you the reader, it has been carefully and cleverly translated into Peruvian English for all to understand).

The dude was racing against time, but because of ancestral heritage of being unable to turn the other cheek, he helped her gently.

“Thank you my son”,

“Mother ! cried the dude”,

“I’m sorry, I’m not your mother, tis I, Geena, Geena lowerbridgedar”.

“Oh……… sorry”

“That’s fine, I see you are a palm tree person”

“How can you tell ?”

“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps it‘s that Tahinia leaf sticking out the back of your aloha shirt that gives you away”

“My mother gave me away once”

“I can see why”

The dude sobbed momentarily, then thought to himself, if she knows so much about palms, maybe she knows how I could contact Smardy and Dazza, or just Smardy, or just Dazza.

Little did the Dude know, that on the other side of the island, Tintin and his friends were getting closer and closer to the prize they all yearned for, the most wonderful and magically brilliant palm ever seen, the one and only MYSTERY DYPSIS.

[John in Andalucia]

After a pit-stop and a few ales, Team Dypsis were back in the race..

(You'll need plenty of popcorn for this. link)

[Walter John]

"brilliant John", said Wal.

How about another author for a paragraph or two, are you there Dave ?

[MattyB]

Oh my this is hilarious and riveting!!!!! I'm glued to the screen. Seriously, I'm stuck.

[palmtreesforpleasure]

HMMM!!

[Walter John]

Once Geena got to the other side of the bridge she bid the dude adieu, doodly doo, told him she knew nobody by the name of dingle or schmaltzer and quickly wheelchaired her way in the direction of exit. This was fine, the least amount of people involved the better he thought. And so……time to contact the contacts. He pulled from his right pocket his waterproof notes on the waterproof piece of paper.

Step one - Turn to page 38

Step two – Go back one page

Step three – whilst keeping both feet on the ground, press paragraph two and wait eleven seconds.

Curses, nothing happened, wait ! I know what’s wrong, these are the wrong notes, the right ones are in my left pocket, they goodness for chinese trousers.

He read them, phone Dazza 11 44 88 MISS TREE

The Dude was now on his way to the village of Pogo Pogo where he arranged by overland telegraph to meet Dazza behind the Danish bakery and tobacco shop. Here an exchange would be carried out, a trade for the most valuable map in the world, a map showing the forest where the “you know what” is located, at least that’s what the Dude believes at this moment of the tale, well let's be honest, this is all any of us have got to go on for now.

Meanwhile Tintin and his troubadours had left their camp hours earlier and were making their way to the same town. How coincidental is that ?

[John in Andalucia]

Once in Pogo Pogo, Thompson & Thompson hire a couple of Citroën deux chevaux in preparation for the 70-mile journey north. The local Commissioner has already put them on the trail of the mystery dypsis.

[Walter John]

Now here’s where the story takes a sharp turn.

“Your hot breakfast is ready Wal ! ”, Donna called out from the kitchen.

“Thanks”, I mumbled sleepily through a cracked mouth. Ummm, I turn on my side, I’m so tired, rest for a (I yawned lazily) little longer, go back to sleep………..Wait a minute, what breakfast ?, it’s usually, if you want a hot breakfast, get up and cook it yourself. What’s going on here and what’s that strange sound ?

I got out of bed, pulled on my levis and my latest and crumpled aloha shirt in striking reds and yellows and opened the bedroom door and………….”Aaaaarrrggghhhh !!!! where am I ???”. I was not in my home at all, there was no kitchen, no Donna and worst of all, no hot breakfast, I was in…………………………….POGO POGO, and I was the Dude !!!, damn it, I wanted to be the Professor I thought to myself.

Okay this is really creepy now, I mean there I was, half asleep, thinking about this silly Tintin story and what to write next and now I’m in it ? Oh wow, this is so bizarre, I’m standing outside a cardboard hotel and across the dirt road from where I’m standing is an old timber and rusty corrugated iron store with a sign hanging on one hook. I tilt my head at right angles and read the sign, “Kym’s Danish Bakery, Tobacco and Vermin protection store”.

Dazza at back ?, that’s right, nah……… couldn’t be, this is not happening, surely. It looks like it is happening though and I better stop talking to myself and get into this story quickly so I can get out of it again.

Ten minutes later I meet Dazza at the back of the store and he gives me the map, and the reins to his palomino, there's no way I was going to be in this story unless I was going to ride a good looking horse, let me tell you. I thanked Dazza, told him he looked like someone I knew back in the real world, he just shook his head and said, "Get going Wal, the others are already on their way to the same spot, and good luck, you're gonna need it", and then he shook his head and laughed like a crazy madman, and I said "you know, you really do remind me of someone back in the real world", and I laughed crazily

Next minute I was off at a canter, singing to myself an old drunken sailor song, and fading off into the sunset "In the town, where I was born, lived a man, who sailed to sea"

[Jeff in St Pete]

Great story Wal. I purposely didn't read this thread for a couple days because I wanted to read the entire story all at once. But noooooo, you still left me hanging.

[DoomsDave]

Mod Edit: I have deleted Dave's post per his request.

[Walter John]

There goes the neighbourhood............

[Charles Wychgel]

Dypsis or no Dypsis; I just want to congratulate TinTin (Kuifje in Belgium and Holland) with his 80th birthday this weekend.

Tintin..bien félicités avec ton anniversaire!

Kuifje ...wel gefeliciteerd jongen ...nog vele jaren!

[palmazon]

Dave - stick to writing briefs

or wearing them

or whatever

[Kim]

"Meanwhile..."

[DoomsDave]

Mod Edit: I have deleted Dave's post per his request.

Thank yew!

[bgl]

The movie version would definitely be a great hit at the next Biennial!

[Walter John]

“We all lived in a yellow submarine, a yellow”………….woah MattieBee !, the horse reared violently and nearly threw me off, woah boy ! easy now !, it nearly threw me off the story too as a landslide of falling rocks came crashing down in front of us, woah boy, just in time, else we would have been crushed, easy boy. I eased the palomino back a few steps as the dust of the slide settled onto another chapter in this mind boggling adventure into the search for the Mystery Dypsis of Pogo Pogo. (I had decided hours earlier on the barge back from Russell Island to name my horse MackayBee Diva, and later due to copyright issues, shortening the name by 5 centimetres to MattieBee, go figure).

The sun was blaring down as I looked up with a squint, I flicked the squint off my shoulder and looked up again, I saw someone or was it something scampering off from the top of the ridge. I couldn’t make it out clearly but God it felt good riding a magnificent palomino just below the ridge, I felt like Clint Eastwest or Roy Rogert, real cool and then I remembered why I was here, the palm tree, the map, the jungle, the palm tree.

I looked at the map where a big red X was marked and this appeared to be just around the next bend and down a gully, across a ravine and then through a grove of trees, then back up another ridge to a secret spot marked on the map as “a secret spot”. No time to lose, we’re off, Yo MattieBee, let’s ride.

Meanwhile Tintin and his mixed band of characters had finished celebrating his 80th birthday with a goon of Pogo Pogo’s finest jungle red. They had all thought it so silly to read in the Pogopalmateer that Tintin was supposed to be that old, they were in tears and doubled over in fits of laughter with this report. After they recovered and the Professor had finished the last of the wine, they considered the fact that if they were being reported in this latest publication then everyone may discover they were here, right here right now on the island, and for what reason do they ever come here ?, why, to locate a new species that’s why, struth, why do I have to explain everything.

And in the last lavendar drips of evening light, as the sun dropped below a secret spot high up on a ridge, Tintin saw in bewilderment, the leaf crown and what appeared to be a bright red new leaf opening on a palm species so wonderful, so tall, so fantastic, so different and new that his jaw gaped open so round it locked and he couldn’t tell anyone else what he was seeing.

To be continued………

[Walter John]

Crikey M, who had been so quiet through this whole adventure, raced to Tintin's aid when he noticed his discomfort and the fact that a silver tailed swallow was beginning to make a nest on his lower jaw.

Soon Tintin was resting and with one hand massaging his right jaw muscles, he began to mumble to the others what he believed he had seen, a palm of absolute splendour, one second it was in clear view, then the sun eased down a fraction, and the palm had disappeared as if it had disappeared, it hadn't really, but it seemed that way, what really happened was the slither of light at that precise angle and time of day, shon on the mystery Dypsis for a fleeting moment, it was the only way Tintin was able to see it, now it had merged in with the rest of the trees, just one big mass of green.

It had disappeared as if it had disappeared.

[BS Man about Palms]

[pogobob]

Strawberry fields...forever

[Walter John]

Strawberry fields...forever

Thanks Robert, I'll call you........

[Walter John]

I rode on for another day, which was about a days ride from here, that’s if I turned and went back to where I started. The ridge was above me now, the spot marked on the map was so close I could smell it, then I looked at my boots and I had stood in horse manure. I tied the palomino to a rock, the climb looked too steep for the both us, I volunteered to stay but the horse would have none of it, so I began the ascent to where no man had gone before, on to the sacred spot amongst the tall trees up high on the ridge.

Hours later, could have been several, probably only a couple, I came to a level area where the the Rafreeky trees stood tall and unforgiving, they seemed to look down on me. I felt threatened yet safe. Shush, did you hear that ? What’s that sound ?, someone’s moving behind me I’m certain, why am I talking to myself ? It must be Tintin and the rest of them, well too bad, so sad, I made it here first, way before anybody else had set foot in this whole place and wow, it looked spectacular yet spooky.

I walked slowly towards the trees, reading the map one last time as I went, by my reckoning it should be……ahhh!! Ouch!!… I fell heavily. I had tripped over something. It was a pair of boots wrapped in some old trousers. I picked up the bundle and looked closely, something sewed on the inside of the trouser, it read “Smardy pants”. Damn, I wasn’t the first one here at all. Wait, was that it ? Something flashed to my right, was that the palm ? it couldn’t be, oh no, after all this way, it’s a Dypsis in suspended animation. My journey is at an end and all for this. I can here Tintin now, it’s too late my old mate, she’s gone, she’s gone……and now all I have left is my broken spirit, but they can't take away my FREEDOM !!

The final moment - Dypsis sp. "Suspended Animation"