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Patented Dypsis decipiens growth acceleration ring


MattyB

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Available now, for only $29.99 (plus $79.00 shipping and handling),

The world famous Dypsis decipiens growth acceleration ring.

Are you tired of your Dypsis decipiens sitting there and not growing for years and years...(womp wahhhhhh)

Well, give our new Dypsis decipiens growth acceleration ring a try...(ahhhhhhh heavenly chorus and ding)

It's guaranteed to accelerate the growth rate of your DD by 200%! That's right 200%! The secret is in it's unique opaque walls that block the harmful sun from reaching into the growing point, yet still allows the leaves access to the full sun it craves. This forces the growing point up and out of the dirt without all that messiness of weak, stretched out leaves. Even comes with it's own easy-carry rope handle thingy. :)

Call now and we'll throw in 2 DD growth acceleration rings for the price of 1! But wait there's more! The first 3000 callers will receive Paulgila's debut sitar solo album entitled "I'm sitting and playing my sitar".

Call now!

(900) 996-5584-22 ?

post-126-001268200 1328634765_thumb.jpg

Matt Bradford

"Manambe Lavaka"

Spring Valley, CA (8.5 miles inland from San Diego Bay)

10B on the hill (635 ft. elevation)

9B in the canyon (520 ft. elevation)

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Available now, for only $29.99 (plus $79.00 shipping and handling),

The world famous Dypsis decipiens growth acceleration ring.

Are you tired of your Dypsis decipiens sitting there and not growing for years and years...(womp wahhhhhh)

Well, give our new Dypsis decipiens growth acceleration ring a try...(ahhhhhhh heavenly chorus and ding)

It's guaranteed to accelerate the growth rate of your DD by 200%! That's right 200%! The secret is in it's unique opaque walls that block the harmful sun from reaching into the growing point, yet still allows the leaves access to the full sun it craves. This forces the growing point up and out of the dirt without all that messiness of weak, stretched out leaves. Even comes with it's own easy-carry rope handle thingy. :)

Call now and we'll throw in 2 DD growth acceleration rings for the price of 1! But wait there's more! The first 3000 callers will receive Paulgila's debut sitar solo album entitled "I'm sitting and playing my sitar".

Call now!

(900) 996-5584-22 ?

Is the debut album available via iTunes? I love me some good sitar playing! Is the song entitled "I'll snark on you" on this album?

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Gone through three of them so far.

If that's the secret, will have to try it.

It would be real nice to have one of those palms - but so far they've just melted in summer heat.

Regards

Maurice

Lardos, Greece ( Island of Rhodes ) 10B

1.9 km from Mediterannean Sea

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Besides being obvious SPAM :interesting: , this is the wrong forum to tout such a patently absurd (yes, absurd!) product. I am in an incredulous state that Mr. Matt would stoop so low as to join the ranks of the 'Sham Wow' guy.face-icon-small-sad.gif

 

 

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I have to say I have watched this product do "the cycle" thru Matts yard... :)

He waits till the Dypsis it surrounds is bigger and healthy, he then picks it up and moves it to the smallest one.. and it goes again... WTH?

Zone 10a at best after 2007 AND 2013, on SW facing hill, 1 1/2 miles from coast in Oceanside, CA. 30-98 degrees, and 45-80deg. about 95% of the time.

"The great workman of nature is time."   ,  "Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience."

-George-Louis Leclerc de Buffon-

I do some experiments and learning in my garden with palms so you don't have to experience the pain! Look at my old threads to find various observations and tips!

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I have to say I have watched this product do "the cycle" thru Matts yard... :)

He waits till the Dypsis it surrounds is bigger and healthy, he then picks it up and moves it to the smallest one.. and it goes again... WTH?

Snake oil! Quackery to the nth degree! Have you no scruples man??? grrrr-1.gif

(does it really work Bill?) face-icon-small-happy.gif

 

 

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Seriously, I think it does work. :D

Matt Bradford

"Manambe Lavaka"

Spring Valley, CA (8.5 miles inland from San Diego Bay)

10B on the hill (635 ft. elevation)

9B in the canyon (520 ft. elevation)

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You got it Carl. You're order is going out right away. I'll even knock off 5% off the shipping price since you ordered 10. But I've gotta charge you +8% for extra handling because you ordered so many.

Matt Bradford

"Manambe Lavaka"

Spring Valley, CA (8.5 miles inland from San Diego Bay)

10B on the hill (635 ft. elevation)

9B in the canyon (520 ft. elevation)

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You got it Carl. You're order is going out right away. I'll even knock off 5% off the shipping price since you ordered 10. But I've gotta charge you +8% for extra handling because you ordered so many.

I knew I should have read the Terms and Conditions more thoroughly.:angry: Kind of reminds me of my first deal with buying mail order cassette tapes. :violin:

Carl

Vista, CA

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Hurry! If you order now we'll DOUBLE your order for free!

(just pay separate shipping)

Now I ask you, what if you only WANT one?

 

 

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Matt,

Sorry to let you down, but I just received my monthly gardening catalog out of Cameroon and they now carry this same pot. Very inexpensive and in a vast array of colors too.Just saying....

Searle Brothers Nursery Inc.

and The Rainforest Collection.

Southwest Ranches,Fl.

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I bought one...it must only work one plants sad.gif

"it's not dead it's sleeping"

Santee ca, zone10a/9b

18 miles from the ocean

avg. winter 68/40.avg summer 88/64.records 113/25

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I got the ones out of Nigeria, with the ABSOLUTELY FREE fly whisks made of gnu tails.

Gnu! Tails? Who knew . . .

Let's keep our forum fun and friendly.

Any data in this post is provided 'as is' and in no event shall I be liable for any damages, including, without limitation, damages resulting from accuracy or lack thereof, insult, or lost profits or revenue, claims by third parties or for other similar costs, or any special, incidental, or consequential damages arising out of my opinion or the use of this data. The accuracy or reliability of the data is not guaranteed or warranted in any way and I disclaim liability of any kind whatsoever, including, without limitation, liability for quality, performance, merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose arising out of the use, or inability to use my data. Other terms may apply.

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I placed my order early while supplies last. This thing really works. I planted my venus flytrap yesterday...and look.

Little-Shop.jpg

Tim Hopper

St Augustine Florida

timhoppers@gmail.com

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Seriously, I think it does work. :D

I'll take 10!

Order cancelation sent.

Sorry Matt, I was able to get same thing complete with Ravi Shankar's Greatest Hits and shipping was free! :D I'm sure Paulgillas debut was fantastic, but I'm a standards kind of guy.

Carl

Vista, CA

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I don't get the whole thing. It seems to me that it is simply a white pot made of bad plastic (because it apparently gets burned by scorching sun). Why don't you paint a normal black pot white?!?!?! Besides I doubt seriously whether the weak point is the growing bud and not the roots. As commonly known, black color absorbs the direct sun light and therefore temp. in the root zone increase at very high and lethal for the roots levels during summer. This should be a very common experience to every one who tried to grow in pot outdoors a Jubaea, Jubaeopsis, Hyphaena, Medemia, Pseudophoenix or even Brahea nitida!!! Put your prescious Dypsis in a common black pot and place the pot in a cold frame with polycarbonic pannels ( so that the sun light be diffused and not focus on the pot walls. Even without shade clothe, even with temp. reaching during summer the 40C in the cold frame, your Dypsis will be OK.

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1328778631' post=511524]

I don't get the whole thing. It seems to me that it is simply a white pot made of bad plastic (because it apparently gets burned by scorching sun). Why don't you paint a normal black pot white?!?!?! Besides I doubt seriously whether the weak point is the growing bud and not the roots. As commonly known, black color absorbs the direct sun light and therefore temp. in the root zone increase at very high and lethal for the roots levels during summer. This should be a very common experience to every one who tried to grow in pot outdoors a Jubaea, Jubaeopsis, Hyphaena, Medemia, Pseudophoenix or even Brahea nitida!!! Put your prescious Dypsis in a common black pot and place the pot in a cold frame with polycarbonic pannels ( so that the sun light be diffused and not focus on the pot walls. Even without shade clothe, even with temp. reaching during summer the 40C in the cold frame, your Dypsis will be OK.

His dypsis is not planted in the pot. It's been growing in the ground. He cuts the bottom off the tub and sets it over the plant. I don't know the voodoo behind it but for some reason it seems to work.

"it's not dead it's sleeping"

Santee ca, zone10a/9b

18 miles from the ocean

avg. winter 68/40.avg summer 88/64.records 113/25

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Thanks, Matt

Oakley, California

55 Miles E-NE of San Francisco, CA

Solid zone 9, I can expect at least one night in the mid to low twenties every year.

Hot, dry summers. Cold, wet winters.

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  • 2 years later...

A useful bumper for those who intend to grow a DD in the Med. Any reports from new buyers on the other side of the pond?

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I bought one...it must only work one plants sad.gif

So your wife wasn't happy with the results?

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